Question of the Week: October 23rd, 2018.

How often do you use social media? 

I log onto social media once a month or so. While I like the idea of being able to contact acquaintances and chat with strangers about shared interests, I rarely enjoy the experience. There’s too much distracting background chatter for me. If I want to talk I just text someone. Over the Summer I had to regularly use Facebook and Instagram to do organizing work for my union and a local activist meetup I facilitate. When I took the personal out of it and got political I really enjoyed social media as an easy method of reaching mass numbers of people. For better or worse, no one is coming to my events because I made a poster and put it up in the local library or Starbucks community board. I mean I’m still doing it, but it’s nowhere near as effective as making a pretty graphic in canva and spamming Facebook groups with it. I also find social media more manageable and interesting when I’m on there for activism rather than my social life.

Posted in Question of the Week, Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Linkspam: October 19th, 2018

Every Friday, we will share links to news, blogs, and anything else we find interesting.  We can’t catch everything, so you are invited to self-promote in the comments!

Ace Blogging

jotdancing talks about anxiety around engaging with the main online asexual community.

Rowan talks about not fitting the favorable/indifferent/repulsed trichotomy.  They also wrote a followup talking about sexual violence.

Anagnori identifies a blind spot in sex therapy books.

Soofiya talks about seeking out intimacy as an asexual person.

Ace Community Activity

The Asexual Awareness Week Fandom Challenge will be running during AAW (next week).


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Question of the Week: October 16th, 2018.

Do you identify as disabled or neurodiverse and how does this interact with your asexuality? 

I was at a queer women’s disability conference recently and to the surprise of no-one asexuality was not discussed very much.  The first time it came up was around how many disabled people have to fight hard not to be read as asexual.  This made me curious about if disabled people that *were* ace had conflicted feelings about being read that way.

The other time it was up was an autistic bisexual women mentioned that there is a high correlation between autistic people and asexual people, and this is the only time I heard asexuality mentioned in a positive and inclusive light.

Do you have experience with overlaps in any of these spaces, either personally or in conversations you’ve observed?



Posted in Question of the Week | 10 Comments

Coming out in ten vignettes

Content notes: discussion of bad coming out experiences including being outed and harassment

1. The first time someone comes out to me, I’m 16.  We’re talking about…I honestly don’t remember.  He says, “I think I might be bisexual,” and I have a moment of pure elation followed by one of pure panic.  I’m not alone.  But also unless I say something he’ll think he’s alone.  I don’t want to say anything, because I’ve never told anyone before.

In the end, my desire to be a good friend wins out.  “I think I might be bisexual too,” I say.

(I’m not, but I don’t know that yet.)

Continue reading

Posted in Articles, Coming out, LGBT, personal experience | 9 Comments

Question of the Week: October 30th, 2018.

What other communities are you involved in and do you see any asexual representation in them? 

I had a friend recently become involved in the furry art scene, and despite the communities reputation for being overtly sexual, they were actually really pleased with how much ace pride stuff they found.

Have you found other asexual folks or discussion in unexpected places?

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Question of the Week: October 9th, 2018.

Do you spend time in ace 101 spaces? Why or why not?

When I was figuring out my asexuality I spent some time in ace 101 spaces because I simply didn’t know what being ace meant, but they quickly became frustrating. I found it difficult to have critical discussions about asexuality that were central to my identity. It felt like everything was being repeated over and over again. I only started to feel at home in the ace community when I found 201 spaces and yet I feel at odds and maybe almost guilty because I also believe ace 101 spaces are vitally important for our community. Every now and then I wander back into 101 spaces with the intention of helping new aces understand their sexual orientation, but I do it less and less.

Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Linkspam: October 5th, 2018

Every Friday, we will share links to news, blogs, and anything else we find interesting.  We can’t catch everything, so you are invited to self-promote in the comments!

Ace Blogging

E.H. Mann is doing a series of blog posts about their experience being in a mixed allosexual/asexual relationship.

Ace Admiral wrote about the power and the pitfalls of visibility.

The Asexual issue on asexuality and pride is out.

Anagnori is reviewing sex therapy books from an aro-ace perspective.

News & Outreach

them. published an article exploring the depiction of asexuality in BoJack Horseman.


Posted in Linkspam | 3 Comments