A slow-burner

This article was written for the Carnival of Aces, whose theme this month is “Burnout”. I have also cross-posted it to my other blog.

I think I might experience burnout differently from the rest of you, and that’s why I’m here.

Case in point, one of the big events in my college years, was getting involved in atheist student groups. These groups experienced very quick turnover, with people often disappearing after their first year or two of participation. But I stuck with it an unnaturally long time, longer than any of the other students could imagine. 9 years! And I didn’t quit because I was burnt out, I quit because the group dissolved. And it’s not like I was happy with the group; on the contrary, I was perpetually annoyed with them. When I finally left, it felt long overdue.

So you might say I have a problem, and the problem is that I don’t burn out. At least, this is my worry. If I notice that I’m tired of an activity, I wonder if that means I’ve been tired for a long time, and if I should have just stopped a long time ago. As a result, the way other people discuss burnout, and the way I personally think about it, are incompatible. Whereas other people seek the strength to continue doing something they want to do, I seek the strength to realize that I want to stop.

Aside from the student groups, another thing I have done for a very long time is blogging. I’ve been blogging for over 11 years. No, I’m not about to announce the end of my blogging! I really like blogging, if you couldn’t tell.

Linkspam: December 14th, 2018

Every Friday, we will share links to news, blogs, and anything else we find interesting.  We can’t catch everything, so you are invited to self-promote in the comments!

Ace Blogging

Claire VanValkenburg writes about what it means to be ace and “not straight”.

Nicky at Queering Closeness writes about Sex (or the lack of it), intimacy, and insecurity

Actuallyasexual writes about the negative implications of the tumblr adult content ban for ace people and ace blogging. So does AsexualActivities* (*content warning: may have NSFW images in other posts).

News & Outreach

SNL featured a skit* with an asexual side character (*content warning: contains  a transphobic joke about another character and some sexual dialogue – use this link for a screenshot of the ace line without the rest of the video.)

Calls for Participants/Submissions

The Asexual is accepting submissions for the topic of “Thinking Attraction”. Submissions are due by December 31.

Question of the Week: December 11th, 2018.

What are some things that have made you feel really sure about being asexual?

For me it’s reading books where characters describe sexual attraction.  Their experiences are so weird and foreign to me, and yup, defiantly ace.

Linkspam: December 7th, 2018

Every Friday, we will share links to news, blogs, and anything else we find interesting.  We can’t catch everything, so you are invited to self-promote in the comments!

Ace Blogging

Nextstepcake posted updates about the marketing of the supposedly libido-boosting pill Addyi and the potential impact on aces.

Mycroft shares their observations of how “exclusionists” attacks have driven down asexual community activity on tumblr over the years.

The Ace Community Survey has an article explaining the CDC’s categories of sexual violence.

Ace Community Activity

The submission roundup has been posted for the November Carnival of Aces, on the topic of “Carnival of Aces”.

News & Outreach

Kristina Gupta has published a new research paper on asexuality and gender (paywalled).

Ianna Hawkins Owens published a new paper about  the Mammy and black asexual possibility.

Smangaliso Simelane has released an essay reviewing asexual representation in young adult novels Clariel and Quicksilver.

The Scottish Queer International Film Festival will feature an asexual reading of The Wizard of Oz, inspired by this 2007 AVEN post.

Tumblr is banning adult content.  io9 and the Washington Post discuss the impact on fan communities.

Calls for Participants/Submissions

The Asexual Agenda is looking for blog roll recommendations.

The December 2018 Carnival of Aces is looking for submissions on the theme “Burnout”.

The Aro/Ace Collective Zine is looking for brief comic-style submissions for the theme “Awareness”

Question of the Week: December 4th, 2018.

Do you have any ace or other lgbtq+ family members? 

Everyone in my family is straight, cisgender, or closeted and hasn’t come out yet. I’ve never noticed before and only realized when I thought about asking this question today. I didn’t think I could be the only one so I even asked my mom in case I had any second cousins I forgot about or didn’t know who were queer, but it turns out I’m the only one.

Nominate blogs for the blogroll

I recently updated our blogroll on the sidebar, as well as our 101 resources page.

To help us further update the blogroll, please nominate any blogs you would like to see there.  The blogs must have original content about the asexual or aromantic spectrums.  And we’d like to see blogs that have been active in the past month, but we make exceptions for that.

Non-English blogs, and Tumblr blogs are all welcome.  And yes, we encourage you to nominate your own blog if it fits the criteria.

Carnival of Aces: The Carnival of Aces

The Carnival of Aces for November has been posted on the notes which do not fit.  The theme was “The Carnival of Aces“–yes, a carnival themed on the carnival itself.  Please take a look!

The next Carnival of Aces is being hosted by Next Step: Cake.  The theme for December is “Burnout”.  Get your submissions in before the end of the month!

The Carnival of Aces is hosted by volunteers.  If you would like to volunteer, please see the masterpost for instructions.  We do not currently have a volunteer for January.