Category Archives: Sexual normativity

Sexual violence in two asexual short films

cn: Discussion of sexual violence, particularly coercion Recently, we saw the release of the asexual short film, It’s Not You, It’s Not Me (cn: sex and sexual coercion), about an allo-ace couple. Judging by the response on AVEN, reception from … Continue reading

Posted in Articles, Media, Sexual normativity | 5 Comments

A Spooky Reflection on Amatonormativity

With Halloween approaching, I find myself reflecting not just on the traditional horrors of the season but also that of amatonormativity. As a teenager, my best friend and I loved watching horror movies and, perhaps even more, we loved writing … Continue reading

Posted in aromanticism, Articles, personal experience, Sexual normativity | 1 Comment

Take it from a sex-favorable ace: you don’t need to have sex

cn: sexual violence “Competing issues” Over the last decade, online ace communities awoke to the fact that some aces can have and enjoy sex. The term “sex-favorable” was coined in 2013 to describe aces who are willing to have sex.  … Continue reading

Posted in Articles, asexual politics, sex-favorable, Sexual normativity | 12 Comments

Keep Your Acephobia Out of #MeToo Conversations, Jaclyn Friedman

Ace readers, prepare to cringe. Consider this a blanket trigger warning for the rest of this post and most of the links. To my fellow ace survivors, I hope you are taking care of yourselves, and please don’t feel that … Continue reading

Posted in Articles, Intersectionality, Sexual normativity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 20 Comments

Autochorissexualism and Sex-Favorable Asexuality

I have a lot of feelings about the word autochorissexualism. Coined by academic Anthony F. Bogaert in 2012 to refer to a “paraphilia that is consistent with a lack of subjective sexual attraction for others and involves a ‘disconnect’ between … Continue reading

Posted in Articles, asexual politics, Language, personal experience, Research, Sexual normativity | Tagged , , | 19 Comments

Book Review: Rachel Hills, The Sex Myth

There aren’t many books out there that are a) about sex and sexuality, and b) ace-friendly. So when I first came across Australian journalist Rachel Hill’s book The Sex Myth: The Gap Between Our Fantasies and Reality last year, I … Continue reading

Posted in Articles, Sexual normativity | Tagged , , | 7 Comments

What is normal: An analytic approach

In an earlier post, I touched on a particular problem: not only do I not conform to what is “normal”, it is far from clear what “normal” is, or if “normal” even exists. I think this is particularly a problem … Continue reading

Posted in Articles, asexual identity, Sexual normativity | 4 Comments

Asexuality and the Relationship Escalator

Written for the January 2016 Carnival of Aces, on the theme of ‘relationship stages.’ One of the concepts that I often use or reference when writing about asexuality and relationships is the relationship escalator. It’s a concept that I’ve mainly … Continue reading

Posted in aromanticism, Articles, Modeling, Relationships, romantic orientation, Sexual normativity | Tagged , | 8 Comments

Why You Should Care

We’ve all talked about the really bad coming-out responses here before. You know, the ones where you out yourself and people order you to go to a doctor, or ask you about your rape history, or tell you that that’s … Continue reading

Posted in Articles, asexual identity, Misconceptions, Sexual normativity | Tagged , | 16 Comments

Taking a Step Back: why not moving forwards doesn’t mean a relationship is failing

Wider society loves talking about relationships. It loves its tormented advice columns, its features on how to catch the person of your dreams and keep them too, its endless commentary on just how crucial partnered relationships are to your wellbeing … Continue reading

Posted in Relationships, Sexual normativity | Tagged , , | 10 Comments