Category Archives: personal experience

The ace nerd

I have a PhD in physics, so I’ve been asked plenty of times if I’ve ever watched The Big Bang Theory. Well, it was an incredibly popular TV sitcom… from 2007-2019… about a bunch of physicists… starring an asexual character. … Continue reading

Posted in Articles, Media, personal experience | 7 Comments

On (my own) excessive PDA

This is a submission to the Carnival of Aces, whose theme is “Second Chance at any Past Topic“. This may be considered a response to “Touch, Sensuality, and Non-sexual Intimacy” or “Kissing, Handholding, Bed-sharing, etc.“. I have a confession: I … Continue reading

Posted in Articles, LGBT, personal experience, Relationships | 12 Comments

Ethical Perfectionism

Lately I have been struggling with “ethical perfectionism” with my aspec content. It’s like regular perfectionism where it’s hard to start and then it’s hard to finish, but with the fun twist of using ethics to justify the behavior. Afterall, … Continue reading

Posted in Articles, personal experience | Tagged , | 12 Comments

Quarantine? – Sounds Like Normal to Me

This is a guest post submitted by Rachel for the Carnival of Aces this month. Content Warning: my usual level of weapons-grade bitterness, vague discussion of social isolation The prompt this month is about the quarantine for COVID-19, decidedly not … Continue reading

Posted in Articles, Guest post, personal experience | 3 Comments

The Ace Case: On Going Undercover

We all know the vocabulary lesson that happens every time we tell someone our sexuality. ‘What’s that mean?’ ‘I’ve never heard of it’ ‘you mean like how plants reproduce?’ It gets exhausting pretty quickly, and I’ve discovered that sometimes I … Continue reading

Posted in Articles, asexual identity, Coming out, personal experience | 2 Comments

In which I get married

Part 1: In which I have a cough I graduated a couple years ago. I wrote a dissertation about time-resolved experiments on high-temperature superconductors. I am done with physics. I am switching careers. Throughout my PhD, I suffered from long-lived … Continue reading

Posted in Articles, greyromanticism, personal experience, Relationships | 5 Comments

Asexuality on the resume

I work for The Ace Community Survey. I lead a dozen volunteers in running an annual survey with 10k responses. I developed most of our codebase. Our reports attract academic attention. This kind of looks amazing on a resume. But … Continue reading

Posted in Articles, personal experience | 8 Comments

Telling your second story

This article was written for the September Carnival of Aces, themed on “Telling our stories“. When I spoke on a panel at Creating Change in 2013, I prepared and polished 30 second speech to introduce myself and how I came … Continue reading

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The Biology Definition of Asexuality May Have More Impact on the Sexual Orientation Than We Think

For a long time I assumed there was a chasm between asexuality as a scientific term and as a sexual orientation identity; the words were separate and the gap between them unbreachable. Asexuality meant one thing in biology textbooks and … Continue reading

Posted in Articles, asexual identity, asexual politics, Language, personal experience, sex-favorable | Tagged | 9 Comments

I don’t make close friends

What is a friend? In ace communities, most of the time when we’re talking about friendships, it’s in order to differentiate it from other kinds of relationships, such as romantic or queerplatonic relationships. Of course, this puts a strong emphasis … Continue reading

Posted in Articles, personal experience, Relationships | 11 Comments