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Category Archives: Modeling
We’re Bad at Understanding Behavior Based on What We’ve Never Experienced
This is for the January 2020 Carnival of Aces: “Conscious and Unconscious Difference” In articles describing people’s personal journeys towards identifying as ace, a common theme is ‘I thought other people around me were having sex mainly because of peer … Continue reading
Posted in Articles, Carnival of Aces, Modeling
3 Comments
When unimportant relationships are important
Recently, I wrote about my experience not forming close friendships. That’s not strictly speaking true–sometimes I do form some close friendships, but I tend to be uncommitted to them, and I often value friend networks over individual friendships. Now I’d … Continue reading
Posted in Articles, Modeling, Relationships
1 Comment
Terrible graphs of orientation
It used to be one of distinctive features of ace communities, that we really liked drawing graphs. Oh so many graphs, more than I can include. The graphs were painful, and we liked the pain. It’s fallen out of fashion … Continue reading
Posted in Articles, History, Modeling
27 Comments
Splitting the Split Attraction Model
The Split Attraction Model (SAM) is a model that says that people’s attractions/orientations can be split into multiple components, such as “sexual”, “romantic”, “platonic”, “sensual”, and so on. Everyone agrees that the SAM model has issues and is not inclusive … Continue reading
Posted in Articles, asexual politics, Modeling, romantic orientation
7 Comments
To build an unimaginable future (or, Queenie is way too jazzed about queer futurity)
This post was written for the April 2018 Carnival of Aces on “All the birds but us…” In typical Queenie fashion, I’m getting this in at the last possible second, but if you can type at supersonic speeds, consider writing a … Continue reading
Posted in Articles, LGBT, Modeling, personal experience
19 Comments
Asexuality and the Relationship Escalator
Written for the January 2016 Carnival of Aces, on the theme of ‘relationship stages.’ One of the concepts that I often use or reference when writing about asexuality and relationships is the relationship escalator. It’s a concept that I’ve mainly … Continue reading
The Five Factor Model of Relationships
This post was written for the May 2015 Carnival of Aces, which is on the topic of Identity, Labels, and Models. I think I went in a bit of a different direction than most of the other submissions, but hopefully … Continue reading
Posted in Articles, Modeling, Relationships
32 Comments
Ace label culture
When people talk about Tumblr Social Justice Warriors (SJWs), a significant fraction of what they’re talking about is the ace community. You may not think of yourself as an SJW, but you are, whether you are or not. It doesn’t … Continue reading
Posted in Articles, asexual identity, Language, Modeling
26 Comments
(Un)detachable Sexualities: A Hypothesis
In Queenie’s last post on why asexual people aren’t just like everyone else, minus the sexual attraction, one of the points she made was that it suggests that our sexualities are detachable parts of our identities. Queenie writes: I cannot … Continue reading
Posted in asexual identity, Modeling, Sexual normativity
16 Comments