Category Archives: Misconceptions

Why You Should Care

We’ve all talked about the really bad coming-out responses here before. You know, the ones where you out yourself and people order you to go to a doctor, or ask you about your rape history, or tell you that that’s … Continue reading

Posted in Articles, asexual identity, Misconceptions, Sexual normativity | Tagged , | 16 Comments

Asexual, because reasons

 I grew up in a family that never talked about sex or even really relationships and intimacy. Of course I was still surrounded by sex in media, my peers, etc, but I never got “the talk” or had any discussions … Continue reading

Posted in asexual identity, Misconceptions | 17 Comments

You don’t need to be a mirror

There comes a point in every standard explanation of asexuality, where you mention that some small number of asexuals may have sex. “But why would they ever want to?” What’s that, you ask?  Why would asexuals ever want to have … Continue reading

Posted in Misconceptions, Relationships | 9 Comments

Sex-positivity is a muddle

Several weeks ago, I was surprised to see the following quote, in an otherwise good post: Many asexuals are ‘sex positive’ and therefore more than willing to have sex… Whaaaaaaat?  Is that what “sex positive” means to the kids these … Continue reading

Posted in Language, Misconceptions | Tagged | 18 Comments

Sex-aversion, for sex-positive audiences

I’m not sex-averse, so when I think of issues relating to sex-averse aces, I mostly think of problems I’ve encountered when doing visibility work.  After all, when I do visibility work, I’m representing everyone, not just myself. So far, most … Continue reading

Posted in activism, Misconceptions | Tagged , | 24 Comments

“But I’m not gay”: being visibly queer and invisibly asexual

This post was written for the May 2014 Carnival of Aces.  This month’s theme is “Obstacles in Being Asexual.” “But dating’s easier for you, you know?  ’cause you’re gay.” – a friend I had already come out to twice In the … Continue reading

Posted in Intersectionality, LGBT, Misconceptions, personal experience | 14 Comments

The importance of visibility

(Note: This is an expanded re-post from textualtidepool) Well it’s funny to think about, you’ve got the gays marching for the right to be cocksucking homosexuals, and then you have the asexuals marching for the right to not do anything. … Continue reading

Posted in Misconceptions, Sexual normativity | 5 Comments

Asexuals aren’t “just like everyone else, minus the sexual attraction”

This post was written for the April 2014 Carnival of Aces.  This month’s theme is “Analogies to an Asexual Experience.” When I wrote my post on the aromantic vs. alloromantic divide (here on tumblr) a while back, there were a weirdly large number of reblogs/links … Continue reading

Posted in asexual politics, Misconceptions | 38 Comments

Coming out (and coming out [and coming out {and coming out}])

Content warnings: brief references to violence against aces and corrective sexual violence When I was a teenager, I was somehow under the impression that coming out was something you did once and only once.  Adults talked about certain people being “out” … Continue reading

Posted in Coming out, Misconceptions | 19 Comments

Asexuality, “legitimate” relationships, and the potential for queerness

Let me start, as I so often do, with a story: One of my friends (let’s call her N.) had dated boys in high school, but in her sophomore year of college, she developed a crush on one of her … Continue reading

Posted in Intersectionality, LGBT, Misconceptions, personal experience, Relationships, Sexual normativity | 11 Comments