Category Archives: Gray-A

What It Means To Be Ace: Building community on shared experience

Special thanks go to my partner J for inspiring this post, and putting into neat words what I’ve been thinking about for a while. I am not much of a tumblr user, but when I occasionally browse through the things … Continue reading

Posted in asexual politics, Community, Demisexual, Gray-A | 2 Comments

Fixed and Fluid Identities (from an ace perspective)

This post is cross-posted here from my own blog, A Life Unexamined. One of the things that interests me about (a)sexual identity and sexual orientation is the models we use to talk about and conceptualise them. I’ve seen two main … Continue reading

Posted in activism, asexual politics, Demisexual, Gray-A, LGBT, Modeling | 3 Comments

I don’t care about your precious binary

This post is addressed to people who make the argument that gray-As are not asexual. Your binary is pointless Who are you arguing against?  I identify as gray-A, precisely because it allows me to think of myself within the asexual … Continue reading

Posted in Gray-A, Misconceptions | 10 Comments

Asexuals who like sex, and why we talk about them

It seems like the hot new thing these days in asexual visibility is to highlight the existence of asexuals who like sex. Or is it really?  I can’t actually think of any example where it’s mentioned in major media.  It … Continue reading

Posted in Community, Gray-A | 56 Comments

Gray/demi people can do visibility too

Demi Gray is a good blog for demi/gray people.  Recently, the author said, in response to a questioner:* I don’t like to go around telling people I’m ace spectrum because there’s the issue of explaining how I’m kind of asexual but not … Continue reading

Posted in activism, Gray-A | 5 Comments

Visualizing demisexuality

Apparently some people are still having trouble grasping the concept of demisexuality as a sexual orientation.  I was trying to come up with a way to explain how demisexuality could be a sexual orientation, when it suddenly struck me!  Figures! … Continue reading

Posted in Demisexual, Gray-A, Modeling | 5 Comments

Questioning my Asexuality

I recently had sex for the first time. For those of you who know me, you may be saying WOAH WOAH WOAH. Annette, I thought that was something you didn’t want to ever do! And I was saying that too! … Continue reading

Posted in Gray-A | 10 Comments

Not to be confused with fluidity

One of my pet peeves is when people mix up the following things: 1. Being between orientations 2. Fluidity in orientation Because I am gray-A, I am between orientations.  That does not necessarily mean that I am fluidly switching back … Continue reading

Posted in Gray-A | Tagged | 3 Comments

Doubting comfortably

Two previous linkspams included themes of doubting, and made me reflect on my own attitude towards doubting.  I have some very high-minded principles about doubting that dominated my coming out experience. I can’t see doubt as good or bad.  Doubting … Continue reading

Posted in Gray-A | Tagged , | 3 Comments

Many ways to be between

I am gray-A, and I am very vocal about it.  I’m not just a hypothetical counterexample, I’m right here and I won’t let you forget it.  I could write a long series about it, ranging from personal experiences to theorizing.  … Continue reading

Posted in Gray-A, Modeling | 22 Comments