Category Archives: Gray-A

Interacting with gay coming out stories as an ace

We’ve talked a lot about what it’s like to come out as ace, and we’ve also talked about how this is represented in ace fiction. But if you look for coming out stories, most of them aren’t about aces, they’re … Continue reading

Posted in Articles, Coming out, Gray-A, Media, personal experience | 16 Comments

Being vs Identifying as

This article is being cross-posted to my blog, A Trivial Knot. In modern philosophy, there is a thing called a performative speech act. That’s when you do things by saying things. For example if I say, “I apologize,” it is … Continue reading

Posted in Articles, asexual identity, Gray-A, Language | 7 Comments

The gathering at the gates

This is the third and final part of a short series advocating for a more ambiguous definition of asexuality.  See part 1 and part 2. Start with a metaphor.  You’re trying to get into a party.  You’ve heard mixed things … Continue reading

Posted in Articles, asexual identity, asexual politics, Gray-A | Tagged | 4 Comments

Living gay (and ace)

This post was written for the Carnival of Aces this month, which is about “Living Asexuality“.  Upon seeing the discussions about growing old single, I want to share my very different experience, about being able to blend in. Recently, there … Continue reading

Posted in Articles, Gray-A, Intersectionality, LGBT, personal experience | 8 Comments

Shared Experience, Different Words

Immediately after I started identifying as gray-A, I started seeing comments like, “That sounds normal.”  My first reaction was a sardonic one: “Yes, gray-As are normal!  Thank you!”  But of course what people really meant to say was that my … Continue reading

Posted in Articles, asexual identity, Gray-A | 14 Comments

Ambiguous and heading nowhere

“Gray-A” was coined to describe the fuzzy space between asexual and non-asexual.  Or as I’ve put it, it describes people who find asexuality to be useful to understand their personal experiences, but who don’t fit the technical definition. “Demisexual”, by … Continue reading

Posted in Articles, Community, Demisexual, Gray-A | 21 Comments

What It Means To Be Ace: Building community on shared experience

Special thanks go to my partner J for inspiring this post, and putting into neat words what I’ve been thinking about for a while. I am not much of a tumblr user, but when I occasionally browse through the things … Continue reading

Posted in asexual politics, Community, Demisexual, Gray-A | 2 Comments