Category Archives: Gray-A

Restored Carnival of Aces: “Demisexuals/Greysexuals”

The Carnival of Aces has been around for many years, and some of the blogs that have hosted carnivals have gone defunct.  In some cases, I find the carnivals archived on the Internet Archive’s Wayback Machine, and I mirror them … Continue reading

Posted in Carnival of Aces, Demisexual, Gray-A, Linkspam | Leave a comment

Disidentification with asexuality is essential

In my personal life, I do not see it as a goal to be asexual, nor be on the asexual spectrum. Rather, these labels are just tools to better understand what I really want, or what I might want. After … Continue reading

Posted in Articles, asexual politics, Demisexual, Gray-A | 10 Comments

Umbrella erosion

In Coyote’s timeline of “quoiromantic”, there’s a certain conflict that persisted for many years. Cor, who coined “quoiromantic”, has repeatedly asserted a broad meaning, as in “What even is romantic orientation?” Nonetheless, there has been a persistent misconception that it … Continue reading

Posted in Articles, Gray-A, greyromanticism, Language | 25 Comments

Being grayromantic and not talking about it

This was written for this month’s blogging carnival on the theme of “The relationship between the aro and ace communities“.  Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week is also next week. Some time last year, I mentioned offhand to my then-fiance that I … Continue reading

Posted in Articles, asexual identity, Gray-A, greyromanticism, Relationships | 26 Comments

Interacting with gay coming out stories as an ace

We’ve talked a lot about what it’s like to come out as ace, and we’ve also talked about how this is represented in ace fiction. But if you look for coming out stories, most of them aren’t about aces, they’re … Continue reading

Posted in Articles, Coming out, Gray-A, Media, personal experience | 17 Comments

Being vs Identifying as

This article is being cross-posted to my blog, A Trivial Knot. In modern philosophy, there is a thing called a performative speech act. That’s when you do things by saying things. For example if I say, “I apologize,” it is … Continue reading

Posted in Articles, asexual identity, Gray-A, Language | 7 Comments

The gathering at the gates

This is the third and final part of a short series advocating for a more ambiguous definition of asexuality.  See part 1 and part 2. Start with a metaphor.  You’re trying to get into a party.  You’ve heard mixed things … Continue reading

Posted in Articles, asexual identity, asexual politics, Gray-A | Tagged | 5 Comments

Living gay (and ace)

This post was written for the Carnival of Aces this month, which is about “Living Asexuality“.  Upon seeing the discussions about growing old single, I want to share my very different experience, about being able to blend in. Recently, there … Continue reading

Posted in Articles, Gray-A, Intersectionality, LGBT, personal experience | 8 Comments

Shared Experience, Different Words

Immediately after I started identifying as gray-A, I started seeing comments like, “That sounds normal.”  My first reaction was a sardonic one: “Yes, gray-As are normal!  Thank you!”  But of course what people really meant to say was that my … Continue reading

Posted in Articles, asexual identity, Gray-A | 15 Comments

Ambiguous and heading nowhere

“Gray-A” was coined to describe the fuzzy space between asexual and non-asexual.  Or as I’ve put it, it describes people who find asexuality to be useful to understand their personal experiences, but who don’t fit the technical definition. “Demisexual”, by … Continue reading

Posted in Articles, Community, Demisexual, Gray-A | 22 Comments