Author Archives: Laura (ace-muslim)

About Laura (ace-muslim)

Laura is an aromantic asexual, queer-identified, and a Muslim. She lives in the U.S., works in online tech support, and volunteers for a Muslim anti-racism organization. She blogs about asexuality, queer Muslim issues, and other topics at and has written on asexuality for a number of Muslim sites.


I’ve always thought that “frigid” is one of the uglier misogynistic slurs that can be used against a woman. It’s also one that could particularly be used against me, given my sex-aversion, lack of sex drive, and overall complete lack … Continue reading

Posted in Sexual normativity | 8 Comments

Hijab as “Leave me alone; I’m not interested”

The thought of someone else finding me sexy? That made me more uncomfortable, and in retrospect I think it was because now I was being asked, in an abstract sense, to picture myself actually in a sexual situation. If I’m … Continue reading

Posted in Intersectionality | Tagged , , | 21 Comments

When the answer is always no: Sex aversion and my sex-negative feminism

This post is for the July Carnival of Aces. Content warning: Mentions of rape. I can’t pull all the threads apart, and I don’t claim to be able to. Which came first, the ex-chicken or the scrambled egg? What I … Continue reading

Posted in personal experience, Sexual normativity | Tagged | 9 Comments

Reconciling Asexuality with Belonging to a Muslim Community

Over a series of recent posts on Tumblr, I analyzed how Muslim scholars have constructed a sex-normative discourse around marriage in Islam, argued that the consequences of this discourse can be profoundly harmful to asexual Muslims who are unable to … Continue reading

Posted in Community, Intersectionality | Tagged | 4 Comments

Sex-Normativity in Islamic Discourse and the Queerness of Asexuality

In my Tumblr post, Islam, Patriarchy, and the Recalcitrant Asexual Wife, I analyzed orthodox Islamic discourses on marriage and how they may impact asexual Muslims who are seeking to get married but who do not wish to or who are … Continue reading

Posted in Intersectionality, Sexual normativity | Tagged | 6 Comments

Why I no longer engage the “Are aces queer?” question

Last year, Siggy had an excellent post, What does it mean to say asexuals are queer? Captain Heartless’s recent guest post, Why the “Are Asexuals Queer?” Question is Incoherent takes a similar approach. It took me most of the time … Continue reading

Posted in aromanticism, LGBT | 24 Comments

On being visibly Muslim and invisibly asexual (with apologies to Queenie)

What does an asexual look like? The easy answer is that an asexual can look like anything, since any type of person may be asexual. Yet the images that mainstream Western society imputes to members of certain groups may tend … Continue reading

Posted in Intersectionality | Tagged , | 16 Comments

When deciding whether to take part is about more than just Pride

This post is for the May Carnival of Aces. Asra recalls a particularly unsavoury incident. “There was an occasion at gay pride once where one of the marchers turned around and quite crudely said ‘we didn’t know pride was allowing … Continue reading

Posted in Intersectionality, LGBT | Tagged , , | 12 Comments

Asexuality, Islam, and Queerness

I am asexual, aromantic, non-libidoist (no sex drive), and sex-repulsed. I have no attraction of any kind to men except rare instances of aesthetic attraction. I have never had a romantic or sexual relationship with a man, I do not … Continue reading

Posted in Intersectionality | Tagged | 23 Comments