Author Archives: Laura (ace-muslim)

About Laura (ace-muslim)

Laura is an aromantic asexual, queer-identified, and a Muslim. She lives in the U.S., works in online tech support, and volunteers for a Muslim anti-racism organization. She blogs about asexuality, queer Muslim issues, and other topics at and has written on asexuality for a number of Muslim sites.

Tips for writing about asexuality in non-ace spaces

This post is for the March Carnival of Aces. The Carnival topic for this month, on writing about asexuality, was incredibly timely for me (so timely that this is my second submission to the Carnival!). This is the month that … Continue reading

Posted in activism, Articles | 7 Comments

An Aromantic’s Lament

Last November, I wrote about how I don’t understand romantic attraction and how a lot of online aromantic discourse doesn’t make sense to me because of that. As rotten-zucchinis perceptively noted (footnote 3), it’s not so much that I’m failing … Continue reading

Posted in aromanticism, Articles, Misconceptions, romantic orientation | 33 Comments

The Year of Writing about Asexuality for Muslims

This post is for the March Carnival of Aces. I created a Tumblr blog in June 2012 and began writing long-form original posts soon thereafter, mostly for the Carnival of Aces. In March 2014, I began writing on asexuality and … Continue reading

Posted in Articles, personal experience | Tagged | 7 Comments

Carving out a space for myself

This post is for the February Carnival of Aces. About a year ago, I wrote a post on Tumblr called Caught Between Worlds about feeling caught between asexual and Muslim communities. I reflected that I felt I couldn’t really talk … Continue reading

Posted in Community, Intersectionality, personal experience | Tagged | 11 Comments

Squishes and unlearning heteronormativity

Until a few years ago, I might have told you that I’ve had one crush in my life. It didn’t last very long, nothing came of it, and the man I had the feelings for never knew about it. After … Continue reading

Posted in personal experience | Tagged , , | 15 Comments

What if we treated sex like a root canal? Preliminary thoughts on sex aversion, consent, and agency

Content note: This post focuses on my situation as a sex-averse asexual woman. The discussion of sexual consent and agency has serious implications for survivors of sexual violence and others for whom sex has become a site of trauma. However, … Continue reading

Posted in personal experience | Tagged | 10 Comments

The Weight of Other People’s Relationship Expectations

This post is for the November Carnival of Aces. Expectations in relationships? It turns out it’s all about expectations. Not my expectations about what a relationship should be like, but the expectations that others might have of me. I’m sex-averse … Continue reading

Posted in aromanticism, Relationships | Tagged | 6 Comments

WTF, romantic? In which I try to understand romantic attraction and relationships and fail

Awhile ago, Queenie wrote about different ways that people may prioritize their sexual and romantic orientations. In a comment on this post, I said that I consider my sexual orientation (i.e., asexuality) to be more important than my romantic orientation … Continue reading

Posted in aromanticism | 12 Comments

Creating an asexual jurisprudence in Islam

This post is for the October Carnival of Aces, whose topic is religion and asexuality. It took me awhile to decide what to write about for this Carnival. Not because I don’t know what I want to say, but because … Continue reading

Posted in Intersectionality | Tagged | 4 Comments

Asexual communities, identity, and the question of unassailability

This post is for the August Carnival of Aces. Author’s note: This post is inspired by this question posed by aqua-ace as well as some recent discussions (follow-ups partly captured here, but there seem to be too many different threads … Continue reading

Posted in asexual identity, asexual politics, Community | 65 Comments