Question of the Week: June 11th, 2018.

How do you feel about pride celebrations?

I’ve always been somewhat indifferent to pride marches.  I’ve gone to sit in the audience to see what it’s all about, and I’ve got to admit I totally felt all teary and happy when there were ace people, but I’ve never felt the desire to be in one, and I don’t think I’d really go back either.

Have you been to or in a pride celebration?  What did you get out of it?

Posted in Question of the Week | 12 Comments

Linkspam: June 8th, 2018

Every Friday, we will share links to news, blogs, and anything else we find interesting.  We can’t catch everything, so you are invited to self-promote in the comments!

Ace Blogging

Alex Gabriel talked about being queer and aro ace (audio and transcript available).

Ace Community Activity

ACES Scholarship Foundation (which runs the Ace Scholarship) has a new website.

Calls for Participants/Submissions

If you’re interested in speaking to the media or getting speaker requests, you could join the AVEN Media and Speaker Team.

Today is the last day to apply to be a contributor to The Asexual Agenda.

Posted in Linkspam | 3 Comments

Question of the Week: June 5th, 2018.

How have medical professionals or therapists handled your being ace?

Continue reading

Posted in personal experience, Question of the Week | 6 Comments

Carnival of Aces: Nuance & Complexity

The Carnival of Aces for May has been posted on Prismatic Entanglements.  The theme was “Nuance & Complexity“.  Please take a look!

The next Carnival of Aces is being hosted by Dating While Ace.  The theme for June is “Demisexuals/Greyasexuals”.  Get your submissions in before the end of the month!

Note that the Carnival of Aces is hosted by volunteers.  If you would like to volunteer, please see the masterpost for instructions.

Posted in Carnival of Aces, Linkspam | Leave a comment

Question of the Week: May 29th, 2018.

Have you ever had anyone close to you pass away?  What was your experience of grief and is there anything you’d like to share about them?

I’m back at home  on the other side of the world after the death of my grandmother, and it’s been an interesting experience.  Mostly because of how… it doesn’t feel different?  Everyone is just going about things like normal, with post of the energy being on packing up and selling her house.  It feels weird and mercenary, but I don’t know, maybe this is normal for someone that has been sick for a while?

Sorry I can’t come up with anything more themed for today, but I’d love it if people shared favorite stories of people they loved that aren’t around anymore, or about what their process of grieving was like.


Posted in Question of the Week | 10 Comments

Attraction and emotional granularity

This article was written for the Carnival of Aces themed on “Nuance & Complexity“. It is being cross-posted to my other blog, A Trivial Knot.

Asexuality is chiefly about noticing a distinction between the emotions you perceive in other people, and the emotions you perceive in yourself. We give a name to this distinction, for example by saying some people experience sexual attraction and some people do not. And we discuss appropriate responses to our emotions, for example by saying that some emotions mean we want to have sex, and other emotions do not.

Within ace communities, we often discuss further distinctions in emotions. Again, we give names to these distinctions, for example by talking about romantic attraction, platonic attraction, aesthetic attraction, sensual attraction, and so forth. And we discuss appropriate responses to these emotions, for example by describing what kinds of relationships might satisfy our emotions, or if a particular emotion only makes us want to look at a person.

The ability to distinguish different emotions is a nascent research topic in psychology. And while you shouldn’t let psychology research dictate how you live, looking into the research may give us insight into a common topic.

Continue reading

Posted in Articles, asexual identity, Research | 6 Comments

Why Are There So Many Terms – and Why I Am Finding Them Less Useful

This post is for the May 2018 Carnival of Aces on “Nuance & Complexity.”

The ace community is known for making new terms to describe various nuances of being ace. One would have to be extremely dedicated to keep track of all of them.

I cannot tell you why other people want to make so many terms for so many nuances of sexual/romantic/etc. orientation. I can tell you that having words for so many nuances helped me become more comfortable with identifying as asexual back when I was not sure whether I was ‘really’ asexual.

I live in a culture which does not fully accept the possibility that people may be asexual, which causes nearly all aces to doubt their asexuality (hey, there was a whole carnival about that). When I was trying to sort out my (a)sexuality, I kept on thinking ‘I feel x, does that mean I am not asexual? I also feel y, so even if asexuals can feel x, maybe y means I am not asexual after all. And what about z?”
Continue reading

Posted in Articles, asexual identity, Carnival of Aces | 9 Comments