Question of the Week: June 11th, 2018.

How do you feel about pride celebrations?

I’ve always been somewhat indifferent to pride marches.  I’ve gone to sit in the audience to see what it’s all about, and I’ve got to admit I totally felt all teary and happy when there were ace people, but I’ve never felt the desire to be in one, and I don’t think I’d really go back either.

Have you been to or in a pride celebration?  What did you get out of it?

About astarlia

Astarlia is proud of herself for only having volunteered for..... okay if you have to stop and count it's probably too many things isn't it? She is passionate about nerd culture, disability and mental health, alternative relationships, sexuality, and young adult fiction.
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12 Responses to Question of the Week: June 11th, 2018.

  1. Zoe says:

    As a gender queer female, I went to my first Pride in 2012 with my first girlfriend and that was a big deal for me. Now, it still holds a place in my heart and I go more or less every year, but there’s not a lot of asexual representation at the one near me and the nauseating mix of hypersexuality and activism kind of wear me out. I like going and finding people with similar experiences, but, after a while, I just want to go hide somewhere with air conditioning and board games.

  2. Blue Ice-Tea says:

    My biggest experience of Pride celebrations was ten years ago, when I attended the parade and other activities. I found the whole thing to be quite sexualised, which I respect insomuch as sex is important for other people, but personally found quite alienating. I’ve been a couple of times since, but I always feel like an ally, not like someone that Pride was actually made for.

  3. AceAdmiral says:

    *I* don’t really get much out of it, but… I think it’s important to go: to see and be seen.

    People are so hungry for even the slightest scrap of connection, and the way their faces light up, like they didn’t dare let themselves believe they would even be allowed to have it–I remember that feeling. I didn’t get to have it back then, and that’s not what I want for other aces.

    • This is why I’m going.

      Last year at SF Pride, there were two moments that really stood out: First was the person screaming when they saw the aro flag I was carrying, because it was probably the first and only aro flag they’d ever seen in the wild. Second was the person with the tiny ace flag sign that read “We Belong” who saw us and knew that they did truly belong. It’s those moments that matter.

      So this year, I am going to ace up Seattle to the best of my ability. And I’m going to take as many pictures as my shutter finger will allow and I’m going to share them with anyone who’s willing to look at them. I am going to be as loud as I can be to reach as many people as possible.

  4. Patience says:

    I was at my local pride with a lesbian friend and I could feel how we wanted something different from it. I got excited whenever I saw ace-anything (there were even a stand that sold demi-merch) and she grew tired of it and pointed out that she didn’t mention every rainbow-flag we passed. And well, that’s probably because they were everywhere and can be seen outside of pride as well. For me it was a really great experience to know that I’m not alone in the real world.

  5. Siggy says:

    I think I marched in pride… three times? I stopped after that because it got exhausting. It’s like three hours long, and I can barely sustain excitement for more than a few minutes. I put it in the category of activism best left to people who enjoy that sort of thing more. I usually don’t spectate the parade either, but I am immensely pleased when I catch the ace contingent, and I see that it’s doing just fine without my help.

  6. Lijavi says:

    I have marched three times and am marching again this year, but only in bi contingents, not ace ones. I didn’t even know about asexuality the first two times. This year, I’m going to a different march, and I will be wearing a mix of ace and bi stuff. I don’t expect aces to be represented otherwise, though, because the local ace group isn’t very active, which is unfortunate. I would love to march in an ace contingent one day.

  7. I really enjoy smaller pride celebrations as a chance to connect with local community organizations and have some fun with face paint and colorful outfits. The largest pride I’ve been to was in Dublin, and I doubt I would enjoy something much bigger than that, but when community connections are harder to come by, it is really a great opportunity to see what’s available. My parents actually started going to PFLAG meetings after I picked them up a business card from the booth at the tiny pride celebration in the park last year!

  8. Satsuma says:

    I don’t particularly care about the parade itself but in Philly there’s a festival afterwards in the park the parade ends at that goes all day that I enjoy going to.

    These last two years I’ve worn an ace flag with the rest of my outfit and both times I had a couple people come up to me and say I was the first ace person they’d ever met and being able to give those kids a hug and tell them they’re not alone is worth everything to me

    I’m planning to go to some smaller pride events this summer, which I haven’t done a ton of, so we’ll see how those go

    • Patience says:

      I bought I flag this year and next year I hope to be that person who shows others that they are not alone.

  9. Vesper says:

    this year was my 4th year organizing a meetup for (foreign) aces to walk in the Pride Parade in Tokyo with a ‘proper’ meetup afterwards in conjunction with Pride itself, but from the start it was never my intention for that (the participation in the parade, the meetup) to become the annual thing that it has now become. there have been times where i very much wished that i could ‘opt out’ of the role of organizer that i have inadvertently taken on and just Exist as a person at Pride if i even went to Pride that year at all, because photos aside (i’m a photo geek, so photos are A Big Thing for me), i really don’t get much out of going to Pride year after year, especially now that ace representation at Tokyo Pride has more or less taken off and can do just fine without me.

    that said, the thing that keeps me going back– the thing that ultimately makes Pride and walking in the Parade + the labor of photographing it all for more than just my own sake– is the feedback / reactions that i’ve gotten and the people that i’ve met when they meet a fellow ace for the first time, see aces in the parade, go to their first ace meetup, etc. as others have already said, /that/ is priceless and no matter how much ace representation has increased in recent years, there will always been people for whom my effort matters and that makes it worth it to me.

    it is still really fucking exhausting and mentally / emotionally taxing, though, no matter how i look at it. *shrugs*

  10. Carmilla DeWinter says:

    Looks like I’m one of the few here who love to put up a show. That is, I like having an audience, so Pride is a nice reason to dress up, even if it is exhausting. I’ve marched in a few parades and helped organize most of those groups, from very small (3 people) to large-ish (20 plus).
    Anyone in Germany wanting to join in: We’re marching in Stuttgart, July 28. More info on AktivistA’s website. 🙂
    For all fun that marching is, having an info booth is usually a better way to actually educate people.

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