Question of the Week: March 20th, 2018.

How do you tell the difference between a friend and a crush?

I once saw a post on facebook saying ‘that tingly feeling you get when you like someone is common sense leaving your body’.   I really like this definition because the only way I can really tell that I have a crush on someone is that I notice myself being kinda stupid around them.  Even then though, I don’t really think I treat crushes much differently to how I treat new friends. Either way, what I want is to get to hang out and talk and do fun things with them, so it all ends the same.

Can you describe what it feels like to have a crush?  Or a squish or other types of attraction? Are these things easy for you to differentiate?  How do you decide what to do about your shiny new feelings?

About astarlia

Astarlia is proud of herself for only having volunteered for..... okay if you have to stop and count it's probably too many things isn't it? She is passionate about nerd culture, disability and mental health, alternative relationships, sexuality, and young adult fiction.
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12 Responses to Question of the Week: March 20th, 2018.

  1. agigabyte says:

    I become a bit more willing to give them the benefit of the doubt, and I want to see and talk to them even at times when I’m too people’d-out for most social interaction.

    It’s a lot like a familial closeness, but with added butterflies in my stomach.

  2. Cracticus says:

    I’m still not entirely sure whether some of the feeling I experience are crushes or just aesthetic attraction, but lone thing I’ve realised while trying to figure this out is not all of my crushes have felt the same way. Typically when I have crush, I find myself thinking about the person a lot and get more nervous around them complete with butterflies in stomach. Occasionally I experience desires to kiss them or flirt with them. I also tend to focus on positive aspect of that person and downplay any negative qualities they may have. Interestingly, I don’t think I get squishes. Either that or I only get them very rarely.

  3. Rivers says:

    Personally, I never get crushes, but I do get VERY strong squishes and sometimes find people aesthetically pleasing on occasion.

    Squishes, for me, are very strong, and I somewhat relate to the whole “butterflies” in stomach and very strong feelings that people tend to attach to romantic attraction. However, I know it’s platonic because I would not want to do anything I would find romantic with them. That would totally ruin the relationship for me. Sometimes there are things I would like to do with them that are romance-coded (like hold hands, go on dates, say “I love you”, etc.), but they aren’t things I personally consider romantic. They can be. But it’s fully a context thing for me.

    I usually flip out when I find someone aesthetically pleasing, because it’s so rare, but I always know it’s aesthetic because I would never want to “do” anything that would fall under the romantic/sensual/sexual category with this random person I think looks pretty. That’s just how it is for me though.

  4. Siggy says:

    Friends and crushes are super easy for me to differentiate. I just follow this simple flow chart:
    Is it a crush? -> No.

    I would say, it’s not just that the feeling of making a new friend is unlike (what others describe as) a crush. It’s that I do not have any particular feelings about making new friends. It’s interesting to me to hear that other people have stronger feelings about friends, and that in some cases it might be difficult to differentiate from a crush or squish.

  5. Pingback: Me & Squishes (a Lack of Experiencing Crushes) – From Fandom to Family: Sharing my many thoughts

  6. LightningEllen says:

    My answer is the same as yours! Also, I just recently figured out I’m an ace, and I’m so grateful to finally understand myself, haha. My friend crushes on people make sense now! 🙂

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