How old were you when you realized you were ace and were there signs in retrospect?
I was 32. I had know ace friends since I was 17. It just didn’t click for me because I’m not sex averse and I am extremely touch positive. There are things that make so much more sense to me now though. I’ve always known I was a bit of a relationship weirdo. I’ve always dated poly-adjacent folks, not because I like being poly, but because I just genuinely don’t understand what normal relationship boundaries are. I mean… I do. You don’t kiss or have sex with people that aren’t your partner. Easy! But what about the other things? What about cuddling? What about emotional intimacy? What’s the difference between my partner and my other significant people where all these things are concerned?
When I got old enough to start making deliberate choices about relationships instead of falling into them bc it seemed like a good idea at the time, I start examining how these things made me different to other people, and realized there was this whole other world of attraction and reasons people got into relationships that I just didn’t have! And am honestly grateful for because I think it lets me make much better relationship choices.
Have you always known you were ace or different somehow? What helped you figure it out and does it change how you look at past choices you made?