Question of the Week: April 18th, 2017

Do you like to wear things that are purple, or in other ace or aro colors?

I’ve known many people at ace meetups to wear purple, often in scarves, shirts, or cardigans.  As was discussed in  the last Carnival of Aces, wearing the right colors can be a way of expressing pride to oneself, without being out.  A similar form of expression is to wear a black ring.

I tend not to express myself through clothing myself, but I love to see other people doing it.

About Siggy

Siggy is a physics grad student in the U.S. He is gay gray-A, and makes amateur attempts at asexual activism. His interests include godlessness, scientific skepticism, and math. While not working or blogging, he plays video and board games with his boyfriend, and folds colored squares.
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21 Responses to Question of the Week: April 18th, 2017

  1. Yes! I have a whole collection of hijabs in ace pride colors and usually wear one of them when I’m going to be in a Muslim space (which is not that often, lately). Nobody has ever dropped to it; I think they just assume I like purple a lot.

  2. Nowhere Girl says:

    Not very much. In Poland the asexual movement is not known enough and so maybe one person in 10000 would think of it as a statement. And it’s also not colorful enough and I wear very colorful clothes, usually in hippie/ethnic + androgynous style. For example I rarely wear plain shirts, most of them have floral, paisley or other patterns. (And my choice of clothes is also limited by other factors: I wear a very large size and due to my allergy I should wear plant-based fabrics only; today I wore a polyester waistcoat, but it doesn’t touch my skin since it’s worn on a shirt.)
    However, I’d like to have some jewelry in asexual colors. I’ve seen a very nice anklet (“leg bracelet”) in asexual colors and with a charm in form of an ace card. I can’t buy it here, but it’s simple enough that I could try making one myself according to the photo I’ve seen or ordering it from someone who makes jewelry, but I’ll have to figure out where to get such a charm… I’ve read somewhere that anklets are considered sexy, so an anklet with an asexual message gets a tiny bit subversive.

  3. luvtheheaven says:

    Purple was already my favorite color, so I own quite a few clothing items in purple I guess, but I don’t often really choose to wear it as a pride thing. I do plan to paint my nails as little ace flags on each nail again in the future though. I enjoyed doing that a lot and still have a lot of leftover nail polish… 😛

    I do like seeing other people do it on purpose, but it’s hard enough to feel like I look good in clothes, so I usually value that over the ace colors if I have to choose…

    • luvtheheaven says:

      Oh and I was thinking recently about the meaning of the ace colors – wasn’t purple supposed to specifically be for demisexuality (grey for other grey-aces, white for allies, and black or asexuality?) – but purple has taken over as the entire main ace color, while wearing all black as a symbol of my pride in my non-gray version of asexuality would be just… weird…

    • Siggy says:

      The meaning of purple was “community” because AVEN had a purple color scheme.

      • Has someone ever asked DJ why purple? I’m guessing he just liked the color.

        • triplealens says:

          Purple was the default color scheme on the web platform he used to start AVEN; he just never changed it.

        • Siggy says:

          There’s some ancient AVEN post where DJ explains some metaphor involving purple. I don’t remember what the metaphor actually was, but it wasn’t anything special. (Maybe Sennkestra remembers?) Anyway, saying he just liked purple is about as good an explanation as anything.

          • Sennkestra says:

            According to a post he made in the HHA webgroup way back in the day, it was loosely inspired by the legend that amethyst can prevent a person can prevent a person from becoming drunk (seemingly as a metaphor for ace people not getting attracted, or something like that?)

            “My color suggestions are either good ol’ black and white or purple (a stretch of an allusion to the purple crystal Amethyst. Legend had it that if you placed amethyst in a goblet of wine you could drink from it forever and never become drunk. An image well-used in my asexual-angst poetry.”

            There’s more context in the original thread for any amateur historians out there:
            https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/havenforthehumanamoeba/conversations/messages/127

          • I like how we got to two possible explanations for why AVEN is purple (purple was the default and he never changed it; purple was his metaphor for lack of sexual desire) which seem to be contradictory with each other, yet in my experience choosing colors for websites and crafts projects they’re really, really not.

      • luvtheheaven says:

        Oh I know I read misinformation somewhere then. Cool. I like community better as a meaning lol

  4. Purple was once my favorite color and i had the bad idea to tell my parents so. From there on, everything they got me was purple. Clothes. Notebooks. Crafts supplies. Cameras*. Suitcases*.

    After years, they seemed to forget about the damn purple, and i thought i would finally find peace and freedom again. And then i realized i was ace.

    And went myself headfirst right back into the purple storm.

    * Use of plural for dramatic purposes, actually 1 item.

  5. dcbilliot says:

    Yes! Whenever I see something that’s purple and black and gray, I like to buy it if I can. Mostly this comes in the form of plaid shirts. And whenever I see someone out and about wearing that color scheme, I always want to guess whether or not they’re ace or just like those colors.

  6. Cracticus says:

    I’m not that much into purple. I wove myself a pride scarf out of spite after my mum who told me not to tell anyone I was ace. Problem is I don’t have a whole heap in my wardrobe that matches it.

  7. Rachel says:

    I like to wear purple because it looks good on me, which predates the whole asexuality thing for me. I don’t really put a lot of stock into wearing-colors-to-express-pride-privately. I could definitely see myself wearing the colors as a way to signal to other aces at something like an event though. Wearing the colors as a form of signalling can pay off though: the first time I ever met another ace was at a convention where she was wearing the ace color-scheme in her scarf, and that’s how I identified her.

  8. I wear a black/grey/white/purple paracord bracelet every day, but unfortunately, it’s not quite acey enough. (Look up “Plasma Purple paracord” and you’ll see how it is.) I’ve got a striped shirt in the colors (and order) of the flag that I’ll wear occasionally. Sometimes I’ll wear a black shirt, gray shirt, white, and purple on subsequent days. I also have a “Seattle Aces” shirt that I think I’ve worn once. As far as just plain purple, one of the few dress shirts I have is purple, but I have pretty much no reason to ever wear a shirt that involves the use of buttons, so it doesn’t get much use.

    I have not worn my purple camo gear in public, nor do I particularly plan to… (I did see someone wearing purple camo pants at the grocery store one day, but he was clearly a UW Husky Fan, excited for the cross-state rivalry Apple Cup football game.)

  9. Rivers says:

    When I first realized I was ace, it was really funny to realize all my favorite pjs were purple, white, and black! And my favorite accidental pride thing would have to be when my aunt made me a sock snowman out of socks with literally all the ace pride colors. It made me so happy:)

    I love ace pride colors so much, they all complement each other really well. Though I think this has to do with me liking the colors a lot, because even though I’m aro/ace, I’m not really into aro colors that much, they just never stuck with me personally. I’m always thrilled to see anything purple now, though especially when it goes along with the other colors.

    I hope to get more directly ace pride stuff in the future, particularly shirts and/or other clothes since I’m not really a jewelry person (though I do like the idea of the pride ring, I can’t personally imagine me ever wearing a ring).

  10. Carmilla DeWinter says:

    I made an entire photoseries for AAW back in 2015, and black and purple are still my main color choices for tops (plus anything that’s a green-blue hue).

  11. Nowhere Girl says:

    By the way, about that ace card charm… Suppose I found them: which card should I choose? Ace of hearts, spades, diamonds or clubs? I’m not in any relationship, but I’d prefer to be. I definitely prefer women. My relationship ideal is perhaps more platonic than romantic, but I also don’t consider the distinction between romantic love and other forms of affection to be meaningful, partially because of my “antipsychological rebellion” and choice of poetry and philosophy over science.

    • luvtheheaven says:

      Google searches reveal various AVEN threads with discussions and also tumblr posts like: http://asexualadvice.tumblr.com/glossary which specify that ace of clubs are good for questioning, for the grey romantic aces, etc. It’s not as clear cut as spades for aro and hearts for alloro but… 😛 it seems like a pretty good answer.

      And a few people have talked about being homoplatonic and desiring queerplatonic relationships, that can be a thing. I’m not sure if it’s relevant in your case or not. But just a thought.

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