Question of the Week: December 20th, 2016.

Do you identify as polyamorous, nonmonogamous, or desire any other form of nontraditional relationship? 


About Talia

Talia is an asexual, nonbinary, vegan-feminist that drinks a lot of coffee and stays up very late playing Blizzard video games and writing fiction. They are working on a PhD in Environmental Studies where they think a lot about oppression as intersectional and impacting identities differentially. Talia has a particular fondness for asexuality, fandom, and Critical Animal Studies. Their personal blog is
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6 Responses to Question of the Week: December 20th, 2016.

  1. I don’t particularly identify as poly, but my ideal relationship structure is not necessarily monogamous. I guess I’m not sure how much those terms apply, though, when I’m primarily interested in close, partner-type relationships that are not sexual and probably not romantic.

    • To me “monogamy” implies a degree of exclusivity in feelings or time spent and thus it is possible to have a relationship with one other person that is not monogamous in the sense that is usually meant with romantic/sexual relationships.

      I disidentify with monogamy but do not necessarily consider myself polyamorous and I expect that if I did eventually have a queerplatonic relationship, it would probably be with one other person, for a variety of practical reasons.

      • I also would be most likely to have a queerplatonic relationship with just one other person, simply because that would be the easiest to manage, but I think I’d be open to adding others, given the opportunity, resources, and emotional energy. I’d probably still want it to be a “closed” relationship, though, in the sense of maybe a polyfidelitous triad. So… some exclusivity, not necessarily monogamous.

  2. Grey Wanders says:

    Well I live in a poly relationship with my two wives, but I wouldn’t say I ~identify as polyamorous~. That suggests that I have preferences about relationships other than “this one. The one I have now. It is good.” I could never get a clear picture myself in a relationship of any kind until this one (I thought it would happen, I just didn’t see how), and now I can’t picture anything else working for me.

  3. Sennkestra says:

    I don’t “identify” strongly as poly or anything, but I do feel a little affinity for it. Things get complicated, though, as someone who mostly prefers platonic relations – for most people, having multiple platonic relationships with multiple people (a.k.a. friendships) is the norm.

    I do know that if I were to be in a relationship with someone, I would be totally open to them having other sexual or romantic partners – sexual/romantic exclusivity has never been something I particularly cared about. So that’s poly-ish?

    On the other hand, while I have no desire for exclusivity, I also have no particular desire for multiple partners for myself, which makes me disidentify with polyamory a bit. (complicated by the no particular desire for any partner at all thing.)

    Also, when it comes to the aspects of relationships that I would care more about – long term commitment, financial entanglement, and perhaps parenting – I think my preference might lean more towards something like monogamy. While I’d be open to multi-person relationships in theory, in practice, more partners = more relationships to manage, and navigating one unconventional relationship is hard enough. (Something like a stable triad could maaaybe work, if it was with the right kind of people, but it certainly makes things more difficult with regards to legal and financial matters).

    (Of course, this is all hypothetical, since my current relationship style is more like “nonamorous”).

  4. 8faces says:

    When I heard there was actually a label for solo-poly, it was the solo bit that sounded far more important to me than the poly bit. Poly isn’t a goal for me; it’s just something I’m willing to work within if that’s where my opportunities come up,

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