What relationship style best suits you? Are you monogamous, polyamorous, want or in a qpr, open, closed, somewhere in between, or none at all?
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About Talia
Talia is an asexual, nonbinary, vegan-feminist that drinks a lot of coffee and stays up very late playing Blizzard video games and writing fiction. They are working on a PhD in Environmental Studies where they think a lot about oppression as intersectional and impacting identities differentially. Talia has a particular fondness for asexuality, fandom, and Critical Animal Studies. Their personal blog is petuniaparty.tumblr.com
My last relationship was a heterosexual marriage and it was a nightmare. I want: a best friend, committed partner, someone to live with and share life with, someone to share chores and money and burdens, maybe raise a child together. Same gender as me, probably. But zero sex. None. Ever. No romance either. And I want my own room. 🙂
Except for the part about raising a child, your ideal relationship sounds an awful lot like mine!
Never have been married, and don’t really want kids, but the rest of it: definitely my dream relationship.
I’m most interested in a qpr–I actually was in one for several months a while back, and it was working well for me, but my partner decided that he needed space to work on some of his own issues. I’m not actively seeking anyone right now. Grad school is keeping me plenty busy!
In the future, I’d love to have one or more partner(s) to live with and be committed to. The poly thing is pretty new for me, but I’m starting to think that I would do well with a polyfidelitous arrangement like a triad or a quad. Ideally this would also be a qpr, but I wouldn’t necessarily be bothered if my partner/s had romantic feelings for me, as long as my boundaries are respected.
i’m like, ValidatedTM by having multiple partners, and i like when they are friendly with each other. it’s really nice.
and yet it is so hard to have non-me time, and i tend so heavily toward mental calculus scheduling. so i think, two is good.
although also, it would be nice to have a kink partner, who i maybe wouldn’t want to interact much with non-kink partners? boundaries are hard.
I have no idea.
Something that I need to explore at some point as I want something but not sure of what.
The “doesn’t talk to you for a month and then IMs you with a link and says ‘this made me think of you'” relationship style.
(I’m working on leveling up.)
My current goal is somewhere in the realm of “person I really like (and maybe am in love with) who I have fun non-sexual physical contact with and see movies with.” I’ve only been in (relatively long) romantic relationships with people who wanted to have sex with me, so basically I kind of like the idea of those without the other person wanting to have sex with me, and the other person doesn’t need to be a man.
I am not poly or mono. I would like more close relationships, but I don’t want to define them any further than that (not even call them ‘queerplatonic’ or anything). For the kind of relationships I would like to have, I don’t think terms like ‘open’ or ‘closed’ would even make much sense.
If I really wanted a label for it, I’d call myself agamous (since it’s tough to stick an extra a- at the beginning of ‘amorous’), since I think that describes me much better than ‘poly’ or ‘mono’ but so far I do not feel a need for such a label.
Are you thinking of something like nonamory?
No, at least not the way it’s defined in that tumblr post.