Content note: satire, fictional content
I’ve been in way too many arguments about who or what is “queer”, and I’m so tired of it I couldn’t possibly write another word! But it simply needs to be said: gay people are queer too!
Many people, especially non-aces, seem to think that the term “queer” refers exclusively to asexuals. So we started using the acronym AABT (Asexual, Aromantic, Bisexual, and Transgender) to remind people that there’s more to us than just asexuals. But when we realized there were other groups we left out, we started using longer acronyms like AABTQQIPG. The G usually stands for Gray-A, but roughly 21.37% of the time it stands for gays, and I guess lesbians will have to be satisfied with sharing the letter.
But what a mouthful! To be honest, I can never be bothered to talk about any but the first few letters.
And that’s why we have the word “queer”. Since the dawn of time, when humans first started using language, “queer” has always been used as an umbrella term for people who disrupt sexuality, romantic, and gender norms. And as you may already know, there are exactly two kinds of people: queers and non-aces.
Now this is a point that confuses many people. There is an urban legend that the word “non-ace” is derived from the term “non-asexual”. What nonsense! I have always understood “non-ace” to have a broader meaning, referring to people with normative sexuality and gender. In short, “non-ace” means heterosexual, heteroromantic, and cisgender.
Ask yourself: If a trans person is sexually and romantically attracted to people of the other binary gender, would they be considered non-ace? The answer is obvious. Trans people are in the AABT acronym, therefore they are queer, therefore they are not non-ace.
Yes, I’ve heard of a few gay people who self-identify as non-ace. But fundamentally this is too confusing, so I advise either ignoring them or telling them to stop. Gay people are queer, so they can’t be non-ace. And since they aren’t non-ace, they must be queer. End of story.
But that’s never the end. The elephant in the room is that when people question the right of gay people to call themselves queer, they’re really trying to erase gay marginalization.
Here’s a good way to think about the problems faced by gay people. First, think of an issue faced by asexuals. And then ask yourself if gay people might ever experience the same. Gay issues are valid precisely because they’re so similar to asexual ones.
For example, one of the problems asexuals deal with is comments that casually imply rape by saying that asexuals could be fixed if they have sex. Gay people face the same issue, with people occasionally saying they will be fixed if they have (non-ace/heterosexual) sex. Although surely it doesn’t happen quite so often.
Another example: asexuals sometimes have to deal with mental health practitioners who think asexuality is part of what’s wrong with them. Now, being gay has not been classified as a mental disorder for decades, but I’ve still heard of one or two cases where a therapist didn’t get the memo.
And I hate this ace-centric bias we have, as if asexuals were the only group in the AABT. Take bi marriage, which only recently became legal in the US. Plainly this is primarily an issue for white bisexual men, as you can see from all the media coverage. But did you know that it’s also sometimes called “same-sex marriage”, and that it also affects a few gay people? None that I’ve met, mind you. Gay people never come to our AABT meetups, and I can’t figure out why.
I’ve also had a few know-it-alls point out that gay people have other issues too. I find the idea fascinating, and maybe some time in the future I should learn what those issues are.
We need to protect gay people. Gay. People. Are. Queer. Please share.
Reminder: this is satire. Brought to you by the queer/straight binary, and those noble attempts to assert the oppressed status of aces by comparing their issues to gay issues.