Question of the Week: November 25th 2014

In the US, Thanksgiving is on Thursday, which means family gatherings for a lot of people.  Do you join your family at this time of year?  Is it enjoyable or not?  Or if you don’t celebrate, you may talk about how you relate with your family in general.  (Also note that if this is an uncomfortable question for you, you don’t have to share!)

This year is a little unusual for me in that only my immediate family will be here (as opposed to extended family).  It seems, however, that there will be no less food than usual.  I will enjoy the opportunity to see my brothers.  We usually play a lot of games.

About Siggy

Siggy is a physics grad student in the U.S. He is gay gray-A, and makes amateur attempts at asexual activism. His interests include godlessness, scientific skepticism, and math. While not working or blogging, he plays video and board games with his boyfriend, and folds colored squares.
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11 Responses to Question of the Week: November 25th 2014

  1. Arf says:

    This is the first time I am spending the holiday without my parents, and without homemade food. My (long-distance) boyfriend and I are going out of town and eating at a fancy restaurant.

  2. Thanksgiving usually isn’t a huge deal in my family, and I don’t do anything for it if I’m by myself, but if my parents are at home (they often travel in November), my mom makes a nice turkey dinner and invites over me and my dad’s brother (lifelong bachelor and I’ve long wondered if he’s ace, but it’s not something he would talk about).

    I dislike talking about politics with my parents, but since my mom also dislikes it (we’re both conflict-averse) we can usually avoid too much of that, so I mostly enjoying a few hours spent with family. My asexuality and perpetually single state is not an issue, thankfully, so the most awkward thing is when my uncle asks well-meaning but sometimes clueless questions about Islam.

  3. Aqua says:

    I celebrate Thanksgiving with my immediate family. We also visit with some extended family if all of us have the day off, but in the past few years, we haven’t been able to. A few days ago, I found out that I will have Thanksgiving off, which is nice. Even if I didn’t, I still would’ve agreed to visit my immediate family after work.

    Thankfully, no one in my family, immediate or extended, has seriously nagged me about relationships. With extended family, we talk about what has happened since we last saw each other. A lot of my extended family I see only once or twice a year, some even less often than that.

  4. Sciatrix says:

    I normally join my immediate family to visit one or another branch of our extended family, but I am currently on a break from dealing with them for a little while. I’ll be attending a stray’s thanksgiving with friends of mine instead, which I’m quite excited about.

    My parents have a tendency to aim for a DADT sort of response to a lot of things related to my sexuality, and I…. abruptly stopped being nice about it this summer, which has lead to some fallout. I’m optimistic about being able to patch things up after the holidays, though.

  5. I do join my family for Thanksgiving, but it isn’t enjoyable for me. I’m not out to them, but we just don’t have too much in common. Luckily, it’s only for an hour or two and then we part ways. Thanksgiving isn’t a huge deal in my family because we see each other often and there’s minimal travelling involved.

  6. queenieofaces says:

    I haven’t spent Thanksgiving with my family for…five years now? So I usually glom onto a friend’s family’s Thanksgiving or else go to a strays’ Thanksgiving. It’s…a lot more pleasant than family gatherings, to be honest.

  7. luvtheheaven says:

    I have always spent Thanksgiving with my dad and my brother, and usually some other extended family relatives too. Luckily my abusive mother has not been involved for as long as I can remember – even when I was still living with her full time Thanksgiving was always the holiday when I got to escape her and my dad would take me and my brother to see his relatives, and my mom would let us go. Generally, because my dad’s family is Jewish, we always took Thanksgiving to see his relatives while Christmas would be my mom’s side of the family. Recently, though, there have been a few years where going to visit with all of my mom’s siblings/her mother/my cousins on my mom’s side of the family etc is something we’ve done on Thanksgiving too because my dad’s relatives have other plans of their own. It’ll be nice, regardless. I love spending time with my family. My abusive mother is luckily never invited so we all can just have a pleasant time. I just saw most of these same people I’ll be seeing on Thanksgiving at the beginning of October for my maternal grandmother’s 80th birthday party, and that was a fun time, and this should be too. I’m not a huge fan of the food, but I’ll try to enjoy it as much as I can and focus on the parts that make me happy – seeing the relatives who are happy to see me and talking about our lives and yeah, maybe playing a board game while we’re there. This year my dad has volunteered us (him, me, and my brother) to be driving my maternal grandmother back to her retirement community so for the first time I’ll be seeing where it is she lives and so that’ll be nice, too.

  8. Alice says:

    We don’t celebrate Thanksgiving in my country (although we do now, inexplicably, have Black Friday) but I’ve written a post on my new blog that is tangentially related to this. I think asexual and aromantic people have more reason than most to remain close to their family units. Take a look and see what you think: http://alicesrainbow.com/2014/11/moving-on-down/

  9. Inachis says:

    I’m not from the States so no Thanksgiving, but as far as family gatherings go, I love spending time with close family. Larger gatherings are less fun, but when it’s just me, my mom, my sis and her husband’s family, we have a plast. And even the less fun at larger gatherings has more to do with “who are these people again?” and “do I know you?” than any bad blood. I’m don’t see any reason to mention my sexuality unless it comes up in conversation, so I’m only partially out, but most of my family and friends are open minded people who just don’t care, as long as I’m happy. Gotta love ’em!

  10. Dragon says:

    What’s Thanksgiving?
    Ok, I know what Thanksgiving is. I think for my family Christmas fulfils a similar function, which basically means we get all twenty-million of us together at someone’s house, eat lots of food and play volleyball. I enjoy it to an extent (volleyball is pretty fun, mostly because I only play it once a year), but most of my cousins are a lot more extroverted than me, so I often end up just hanging around conversations without really being able to join in.

  11. Hollis says:

    This Thanksgiving was the last “family holiday” that I’ll probably have because I know a good portion of my dad’s family won’t have anything to do with me after I come out as trans. I’ll personally be surprised if I don’t get told I’m going to hell from at least one person.

    Most of my mom’s family will probably fall into the “don’t really understand it but also still willing to associate with me”, but they’re also pretty far spread across the country and we don’t really get together for holidays anymore.

    Honestly, the holidays are probably going to feel weird for a few years because traditions are changing.

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