The “gold star asexual” (or “unassailable asexual”) is a person who has just those qualities so that no one could possibly question that they are most definitely really asexual, and certainly not broken or in denial. Many of us feel pressured to be that gold star asexual for purposes of activism, or if we fail to fit, we think we are unsuited to visibility work.
The idea of the “gold star asexual” was created by Sciatrix in 2010, borrowed from a different context. It’s worth revisiting from time to time. But I think we face pressure from multiple directions, to earn many different kinds of stars.
I’m asexual, and I’ve never suffered from abuse, and had a perfect childhood.
No, asexuality is not a mental illness, I’ve never had such a thing.
Yes I checked my hormones, and they were normal.
The plumbing still works.
I’ve had sex with dozens of people, so I know I don’t like it.
Well I’m 50 years old so I’ve had plenty of time to figure it out by now.
I may be asexual, but I still fall in love.
Asexual doesn’t mean I’m genderless.
I’ve never so much as wanted a relationship.
I may not be strictly asexual, but I’m effectively asexual 999.999% of the time.
I’m 25, a prime sexual age, but I still don’t want to get anywhere near sex.
But I think any sex between consenting adults is just lovely.
Let me tell you my coming out story.
The opposite of desire is indifference.
Since I was never interested in boys, I never cared for fashion or romantic films.
I don’t like sex for itself, but I like pleasing my partner.
But for other people, it’s really great!
I hasten to add that most asexuals don’t have fantasies, so let’s not talk about mine.
We’re not all straight white cis women, I’m an Asian homoromantic guy.