Have you ever been caught out by your own internalised prejudices?
One example for me is even as a girl that loves tech, I have approached a guy in a video games store to ask a technical question instead of a girl, only to be redirected to her because she knows more about that topic.
I have done the same thing with other asexual folks, assuming they would never be interested in kissing or cuddling or even sex because that was the dominant narrative I was used to hearing, even though it wasn’t even the one that matched my own experiences.
This is part of a series on tropes in fiction with ace characters. To link or follow this series, please use the “ace tropes” tag on this blog.
Relevant clip starts at 0:52. This scene from Shortland Street shows Gerald looking up “celibacy” and then clicking on a wiki about asexuality. In the next episode, he tells a doctor about it, who does online research of her own.
The most common way for people to learn about asexuality is to go to the internet. So when fictional characters do online research, it’s truth in fiction.
Are there any songs which you feel resonate with you as an ace?
I can’t think of any myself so I’m very curious about possible responses to this question. Songs that resonate most with me get me inspired to write, but are often based in feelings or dynamics I don’t experience myself.
Every Friday, we will share links to news, blogs, and anything else we find interesting. We can’t catch everything, so you are invited to self-promote in the comments!
The Comic Jaunt has three demi folk comparing their experiences and giving advice on making friends with people that want to date you.
gretchensinister wrote about the specter of Chad the Aro Fratboy.
Ace Community Activity
cassz has a collection of resources about asexuality and race.
News & Outreach
Romper has an article by someone who realized they were asexual after having a kid.
AmeliaAce talks about common misconceptions about asexuality.
Buzzfeed posted ’19 Things Asexual people want you to know about Asexuality’. Bonus points for the injoke in the url.
Glamour posted an interview with Beth from ACE Los Angeles.
Queerty posted an interview with Steve and Thom from Pieces of Ace.
How do you think your asexuality will affect you in old age?
Being asexual is going to have a huge impact on what me old age looks like. Even before I realised I was ace, I knew I didn’t want to get married and have babies. I liked partners, but I never felt that desire to move in with them or build a life together.
And I realise that this is going to change the kind of supports that I have in place when I’m elderly. I have a good relationship with my siblings, and they are enough younger than me that I always joke with them that they need to look after me when they get old, but beyond that there is always the little part of me that hopes that they have children I get along with. Cause you know what? Getting old without family can really suck.
The upside though, is that chosen family is totally a thing. One of my favourite memories of working as a nurse is seeing a patient get cared for by his best friend and her partner. It stuck with me because I had such a strong sense of ‘that will be me’. And I see so many other people in alternative caring arrangements as they get old. A group of my friends are buying a house together because they want to share house together, and many other people seem to have this as an ideal.
I don’t know what my life is going to look like when I’m old, but being ace has made me value the non-traditional relationships in my life, and I think that things are going to be okay.