Linkspam: November 27th, 2015

Every Friday, we will share links to news, blogs, and anything else we find interesting.  We can’t catch everything, so you are invited to self-promote in the comments!

Ace Blogging

GreyWanders wrote about classification and romance.

Angela asked people not to challenge misconceptions by saying, “I’m asexual, but…”

swankivy wrote about how concerns about asexual awareness making non-aces mistakenly think they’re ace shows a lack of concern for aces.

Ace Community Activity

Maeve made an ace spectrum YouTube linkspam.

Yesterday was Ace Day.  See theasexualityblog’s #AceDay tag.

centralohioacesandaros made an ace community and aro community master post.

News & Outreach

Buzzfeed released a video on asexuality.

Posted in Linkspam | 2 Comments

Question of the Week: November 24th 2015

Do you think of your asexuality and gender as interrelated in any way? 

I don’t see any natural or obvious connections between my nongender and asexuality. It’s not as if one led to the other and they appear to function relatively independently. However, I’m definitely more likely to be open as agender and nonbinary in asexual spaces.

In the 2014 AVEN community census, similar to previous surveys, the results indicated that “asexual communities are largely female, with high numbers of nonbinary-identified individuals and low numbers of men.” The relatively large presence and visibility of nonbinary people has helped me feel a lot more comfortable openly identifying, which is a big deal for me because I’m (unfortunately) not out everywhere and to everyone. Furthermore, talking about nonbinary and asexual politics seems normal to me because a surprising number of us are both.

I wonder, how do women feel about being asexual in a space that is predominantly female? I know there is a lot of merit in creating women’s only spaces. Though certainly not the same, because the asexual community is open to everyone, I wonder if there are any similarities to be drawn.

Posted in Question of the Week | 2 Comments

Ambiguity is ordinary

This is part 2 of a short series advocating for a more ambiguous definition of asexuality.  Here’s part 1.

In the comments of the part 1, I was happy to see people take a variety of positions on the definition of asexuality.  Here, I will give the discussion more direction by explaining, with concrete examples, what an ambiguous definition looks like, and what a specific definition looks like.

My larger purpose in using these examples is to show that ambiguity is not radical, but altogether ordinary.  There are plenty of examples of ambiguity in asexual history and in other words.  In seeing these examples, you may also find that they’re not too different from how you already think about asexuality. Continue reading

Posted in Articles, Language | Tagged | 6 Comments

Linkspam: November 20th, 2015

Every Friday, we will share links to news, blogs, and anything else we find interesting.  We can’t catch everything, so you are invited to self-promote in the comments!

Ace Blogging

queerascat wrote about their experience with depression and anxiety.

Coyote wrote a guide to identifying abuse for aces and offered 5 tips for handling abuse as an ace advice blog mod.

starchythoughts wrote about being asexual and Asian American.

luvtheheaven wrote about her experiences with friendship and (not) feeling sexy.

Ace Community Activity

Jo made a masterlist of her writing on asexuality.

News & Outreach

The last part of Arf’s series on asexuality for Gaysi went up.

Everyday Feminism ran an article about 3 ways you might be marginalized disabled asexual people (and what you can do about it).

Calls for Participants/Submissions

Missy is looking for participants for a collaborative video project on asexuality and aromanticism.

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Ace Survivors as Rhetorical Devices (part four): Avoiding Using Ace Survivors Rhetorically

This series can be read on The Asexual Agenda, Resources for Ace Survivors, and Concept Awesome.

Trigger warnings: discussion of sexual violence, including corrective rape and CSA, although nothing specific; policing of survivors’ reactions to sexual violence.  If you think this needs more warnings, let me know, and I’ll be happy to add them.

In the last two posts I’ve outlined two of the major ways in which ace survivors are used as rhetorical devices–by using them to win political arguments and by creating a monolithic narrative of The Way Sexual Violence Happens to Aces.  If you’ve read this far, you might be worrying about whether you’ve done either of these things in your own writing.  You might be wondering how to avoid using aces as rhetorical devices while still writing forceful, argumentative pieces.  This part is for you.

Continue reading

Posted in activism, Articles, asexual politics, Intersectionality, Misconceptions | Tagged , | 9 Comments

Question of the Week: November 17th, 2015

What are your friendships like?

For all our discussion of the diversity of kinds of relationships, I often suspect there’s a lot of hidden diversity even in “ordinary” relationships like friendships.  So I’ll show the cards in my hand, and you can show yours.

My conception of “friend” matches up fairly well with the concept given by Facebook.  I consider lots of people friends, even if we only met a few times and never talk to each other.  Except that maybe there’s a slim chance that when one of us posts something on Facebook, the other will scroll past it.

I make a lot of friends by networking through meetup groups or student groups.  There’s always a steady trickle of new people, and some of them I get to know better.  Usually I stay part of these groups for much longer than anyone else, because I like making friends that way.  As a result, I have a lot of dormant friendships with former members of these groups.

Posted in Question of the Week | 9 Comments

Linkspam: November 13th, 2015

Every Friday, we will share links to news, blogs, and anything else we find interesting.  We can’t catch everything, so you are invited to self-promote in the comments!

Ace Blogging

Arf discusses her relationship with quoiromantic.  She also explains why she doesn’t like the primary/secondary attraction model.

Coyote compiled a list of examples of bad ace advice.

Laura wrote about how her parents made a safe space for her to be an aromantic asexual.

Arf wrote about things she is asked because she is demisexual.

Coyote wrote about desirability, partnership, and the sex-as-worth principle.

Ace Community Activity

Coyote started a thread to brainstorm advice for therapists with ace clients.

Hezekiah made a linkspam on asexual identity prescriptivism.

News & Outreach

A 30-minute documentary called Taking The Cake was released, and is freely available.

Calls for Participants/Submissions

Queer Sounds wants people to record recreations of their coming out experience(s) for a music video.

Posted in Linkspam | 5 Comments