Question of the Week: July 25th, 2017.

Have you ever been caught out by your own internalised prejudices?

One example for me is even as a girl that loves tech, I have approached a guy in a video games store to ask a technical question instead of a girl, only to be redirected to her because she knows more about that topic.

I have done the same thing with other asexual folks, assuming they would never be interested in kissing or cuddling or even sex because that was the dominant narrative I was used to hearing, even though it wasn’t even the one that matched my own experiences.

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Ace Tropes: Online research

This is part of a series on tropes in fiction with ace characters. To link or follow this series, please use the “ace tropes” tag on this blog.

Relevant clip starts at 0:52. This scene from Shortland Street shows Gerald looking up “celibacy” and then clicking on a wiki about asexuality. In the next episode, he tells a doctor about it, who does online research of her own.

The most common way for people to learn about asexuality is to go to the internet. So when fictional characters do online research, it’s truth in fiction.

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Looking back and looking forward on our 5th anniversary

The Asexual Agenda was founded five years ago today.  To celebrate, we held a discussion about our blog, ace blogging, and ace communities in general.

Siggy: I am the only remaining founding member of The Asexual Agenda, so I’ll start out with a look towards our past.  The goal of the blog was to further upper-level discussions of asexuality, and to stimulate other ace blogs. I’m very self-critical so I’m not always sure we have been successful.  Although I’m always impressed with our contributors, I think most of them were impressive before joining our team.  And ace blogs seem to have become less active in the past year.  But I’m pleasantly surprised that we’re still here after 5 years, and I still hear from readers who appreciate what we do.

What do the rest of you think?  Have we been successful at achieving our goals?  Are there any highlights you’d like to mention?  Where do you see The Asexual Agenda–and other ace communities–going in the future?

Sara K.: I think The Asexual Agenda has been very successful as a hub for ace blogging (particularly ace blogging which is not on tumblr). I think the most important thing The Asexual Agenda has done to connect the ace blogging community is the linkspam. Though the Carnival of Aces is older than The Asexual Agenda, it is The Asexual Agenda which has kept it going and that has also done a lot to stimulate ace blogging.

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Posted in activism, Articles, Blogging, Meta | 18 Comments

Did you know we have a twitter?

Twitter has a thriving asexual community, and is a great place to connect with other asexual people and learn about the cool projects people out there are working on.

If you would like to follow us, we will be tweeting from @aceagendablog.

Let us know your other favourite ace twitter accounts in the comments – or tweet them at us!

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Question of the Week: July 18th, 2017.

Are there any songs which you feel resonate with you as an ace?

I can’t think of any myself so I’m very curious about possible responses to this question. Songs that resonate most with me get me inspired to write, but are often based in feelings or dynamics I don’t experience myself.

Posted in Question of the Week | 10 Comments

Linkspam: July 14th, 2017

Every Friday, we will share links to news, blogs, and anything else we find interesting.  We can’t catch everything, so you are invited to self-promote in the comments!

Ace Blogging

The Comic Jaunt has three demi folk comparing their experiences and giving advice on making friends with people that want to date you.

gretchensinister wrote about the specter of Chad the Aro Fratboy.

Ace Community Activity

cassz has a collection of resources about asexuality and race.

News & Outreach

Romper has an article by someone who realized they were asexual after having a kid.

AmeliaAce talks about common misconceptions about asexuality.

Buzzfeed posted ’19 Things Asexual people want you to know about Asexuality’.  Bonus points for the injoke in the url.

Glamour posted an interview with Beth from ACE Los Angeles.

Queerty posted an interview with Steve and Thom from Pieces of Ace.



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Question of the Week: July 11th, 2017.

How do you think your asexuality will affect you in old age?

Being asexual is going to have a huge impact on what me old age looks like.  Even before I realised I was ace, I knew I didn’t want to get married and have babies.  I liked partners, but I never felt that desire to move in with them or build a life together.

And I realise that this is going to change the kind of supports that I have in place when I’m elderly.  I have a good relationship with my siblings, and they are enough younger than me that I always joke with them that they need to look after me when they get old, but beyond that there is always the little part of me that hopes that they have children I get along with.  Cause you know what?  Getting old without family can really suck.

The upside though, is that chosen family is totally a thing.  One of my favourite memories of working as a nurse is seeing a patient get cared for by his best friend and her partner.  It stuck with me because I had such a strong sense of ‘that will be me’.   And I see so many other people in alternative caring arrangements as they get old.  A group of my friends are buying a house together because they want to share house together, and many other people seem to have this as an ideal.

I don’t know what my life is going to look like when I’m old, but being ace has made me value the non-traditional relationships in my life, and I think that things are going to be okay.

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