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SwankIvy talks about pride.
Do you like to wear things that are purple, or in other ace or aro colors?
I’ve known many people at ace meetups to wear purple, often in scarves, shirts, or cardigans. As was discussed in the last Carnival of Aces, wearing the right colors can be a way of expressing pride to oneself, without being out. A similar form of expression is to wear a black ring.
I tend not to express myself through clothing myself, but I love to see other people doing it.
Content Note: this post contains some non-explicit discussion of sex.
“I have no inclinations or desires to be with others, Katerini,” he said, much slower this time, as if she wouldn’t understand.
Which was good, because she didn’t. She scoffed in disbelief. “Excuse me, dear brother? You have two lovers … Not one, but two.”
– Breakfire’s Glass by A.M. Valenza
Quite a bit of the ace fiction I’ve read features ace characters in polyamorous situations. This makes sense, since the there seems to be a correlation between being aware of asexuality and being aware of polyamory.
What is polyamory? I could offer a short definition such as ‘it’s having romantic or otherwise emotionally intimate bonds with multiple people’, but people who don’t already know what ‘polyamory’ means are probably better off reading a multi-paragraph explanation such as this one. Continue reading
Another few heart-pounding moments passed, and then Sal [robot] curled closer, rolling from her back to her side to press more tightly to Clara, hold her close. “I can’t—physically,” Sal said. “I mean, I’m not designed to be sexual. That’s to say, I can act on others, but I don’t want—”
“That’s okay. Me neither.”
“It’s not something I need from someone else,” Clara [human] said firmly, willing Sal to understand.
– “The Cybernetic Teashop” by Meredith Katz
Sometimes a story which has a nonhuman ace and/or aro – particularly a type of nonhuman who tends to lack emotion – also has an ace and/or aro character who is human and has a more typical set of emotions. For example, in the story excerpted above, there is Sal, who is a robot, and Clara, who is a human, and they are both ace. The presence of the human ace and/or aro character may signal that, just because the nonhuman ace and/or aro character is there, does not mean that all aces and/or aros are like that. Continue reading
Marcella shook her head. “Anything sexual makes you not an Ace. Touching yourself is included in that. So is kissing and lots of other stuff that we don’t do.”
A lot of the people looked surprised by that, and Seth raised his eyebrows. “Uh. I like kissing. But I don’t have sex or think about sex or anything like that. And you’re being combative.”
–Of Monsters and Men, Chapter 14
It’s common for fiction to depict allosexuals policing the identity and behavior of aces. But sometimes, the policing comes from other aces. This can particularly sting, because it can happen in spaces that are supposed to be safe. It might also come from people that you hold in respect or in authority.
Are there any new aro or ace words that you’ve been happy to discover?
Lately I’ve been reading a dissertation about the evolution of asexual language up to the year 2013. There are so many words we take for granted now that were created and became popular during that period. Some of them, I’m quite grateful for. But clearly, the evolution of our language didn’t stop in 2013, that’s just beyond the scope of the dissertation. Are you grateful for any more recent words?