Carnival of Aces: Quarantine

Welcome to the link roundup for the May 2020 Carnival of Aces.  This month’s theme was “Quarantine”.  In the call for submissions, I observed that sometimes asexuality doesn’t have much to do with it, and it’s okay for submissions to reflect that. So some of these articles discuss asexuality, and some do not, and some are only tangential. Enjoy, and stay safe.

The June 2020 Carnival of Aces is being hosted by aspecofstardust, and the call for submissions was just posted.  The next month’s theme is “Pride”.  If you would like to volunteer to host, please see the carnival masterpost–the next open slot is August.

Quarantine? – Sounds Like Normal to Me

This is a guest post submitted by Rachel for the Carnival of Aces this month.

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Content Warning: my usual level of weapons-grade bitterness, vague discussion of social isolation

The prompt this month is about the quarantine for COVID-19, decidedly not asexuality specific like usual, but that isn’t going to stop me.  Before you start the essay proper, I suggest some supplementary reading from a few previous carnivals:

græ tells painfully familiar stories

Content Warnings: The lyrics of græ include many references to suicide. One song (“Cut Me”) is directly about self-harm. Another (“Two dogs”) describes in graphical detail the traumatic memory of the deaths of two dogs. The cover contains mild nudity. This article will not discuss themes of suicide or self-harm, although it will discuss the dogs.

When Moses Sumney released the album Aromanticism in 2017, it felt shockingly on the nose. I am used to asexual media being extremely rare, something you have to go far out of your way to find.  Aromantic media is virtually unheard of, especially the kind that doesn’t reference asexuality.  And yet there it was, right in the title of an album being hyped up by mainstream music critics. I didn’t know that was legal, I thought.

Then Moses Sumney released græ, an album that is more restrained from explicit references, but which is even more potent than the last.  It is far from clear that Sumney would accept any such label, but I think that people in the greyromantic/ambiguously-aro cluster might feel like Sumney is reading their diaries, and turning them into beautiful and melodramatic poetry.

Linkspam: May 22nd, 2020

On Fridays, we will share links to news, blogs, and anything else we find interesting.  We can’t catch everything, so you are invited to self-promote in the comments!

Ace Blogging

Lib explains the PR problem of the split attraction model.

Coyote explained the history of the split attraction model.

Sara offered a perspective on Revolting Prostitutes.

News & Outreach

Bella DePaulo speculates on bigotry targeting aromantics.

Ace Day was incompetently organized

Did you know that Ace Day was on May 8th?  No?  Or perhaps you knew, but only learned that fact on the day it happened?  You aren’t alone.  Most people, if they found out all, discovered this on the day it happened, perhaps through Twitter or Reddit.  Most people reacted to this discovery with pleasant surprise.

But to an activist like me, who keeps an ear on the ground, the appearance of a surprise event is not pleasant, it is suspicious.  It betrays a lack of advertising and planning.  Even a seemingly innocent event such as this can be sunk by poor organization.

But it gets worse. I have heard about Ace Day.  And what I have to say about it is not nice, not nice at all.  Reader beware, it’s time to burn bridges, and dig up dirt.

Linkspam: May 15th, 2020

On Fridays, we will share links to news, blogs, and anything else we find interesting.  We can’t catch everything, so you are invited to self-promote in the comments!

Ace Blogging

Rotten Zucchinis wrote about consent and boundaries using logical operators.

aceadmiral analyzed My Best Friend’s Wedding.

Sherronda Brown wrote about split attraction, and the lie that aces and aros are just straight.

Coyote did a detailed structural analysis of The Asexual Manifesto.

strange perspectives on stuff talked about belonging and alienation in queer spaces.

Sennkestra compiled a collection of links that are useful in understanding the history of “Ace Day”.

Community Activity

In case you missed it, the 6 Feet of SpACE stream is available.

News & Outreach

Rewire.News has an article describing reasons why some people don’t want to masturbate.

Bella DePaulo on Psychology Today discussed discrimination towards asexuals, using the “Intergroup bias toward ‘Group X'” study from 2012.

Aro blogging

The Carnival of Aros is looking for submissions for May 2020’s topic “DIY”.

Question of the Month: May 12th, 2020.

How do you feel when people flirt with you if it happens? 

I personally enjoy flirting and find it really fun, but only when I feel safe and like I can leave the situation if I want to. I rarely appreciate being hit on by strangers in public or online. It takes a specific amount of tact for someone’s flirting to seem harmless. I think my hesitation has more to do with being raised and perceived as female rather than being asexual, but I imagine being ace probably plays a role in how a lot of people would answer this question.