Tips for writing about asexuality in non-ace spaces

This post is for the March Carnival of Aces.

The Carnival topic for this month, on writing about asexuality, was incredibly timely for me (so timely that this is my second submission to the Carnival!). This is the month that I got a post about asexuality published on a non-ace site and then was accepted as a columnist for that same site, to write asexuality posts monthly.

This current post is aimed at people who have decided that they would like to engage in asexual visibility work by writing about asexuality in non-ace spaces and who feel comfortable with doing such work.

The tips are based on my own experience; you might decide to go about it very differently. However, I figure I must be doing something right and that my experiences might be a useful model for others. Continue reading

Posted in activism, Articles | 5 Comments

Linkspam: March 27th, 2015

Every Friday, we will share links to news, blogs, and anything else we find interesting.  We can’t catch everything, so you are invited to self-promote in the comments!

redbeardace posted A Man’s Guide to Asexuality and A Woman’s Guide to Asexuality.

XOJane posted an article by a demisexual person.

New blog The Minus Roots has some stuff you should browse.  Siggy says he is excited about finding a new webcomic that way.

Acing History summarized asexual history in the 19th and 20th centuries.

There’s been some more discussion of romantic orientation and greyromanticism.  Coy wrote about romantic orientation.  Cinderace wrote about romanceromantic attraction, and romantic orientation labels.

hugdogs is making an asexual and aromantic spectrum mini-documentary.

The “Outsiders in London” exhibition features a portrait of an asexual person.

There was a Dutch news article on asexuality.  Tristifere translated snippets of it.

Laura’s writing was featured on the blog Love, InshAllah.

Elizabeth announced some revisions of her guide on how to have sex with an asexual person, and invites others to contribute.

Posted in Linkspam | 2 Comments

Writing About Asexuality in a Classroom Setting

Earlier this month, I wrote about some of the trouble I encountered in creative writing classes here [tw: verbal abuse by teachers, domestic violence mentions]. Consider this post a sort of follow-up to that one. It is also my official submission for the March Carnival of Aces, although I think most of what I wrote about this month is on-topic enough to include even though it wasn’t specifically for the carnival. Continue reading

Posted in activism, Articles | 2 Comments

Question of the Week: March 24, 2015

I’m very excited– being a newly minted voter within the last year, I will be able to participate in the 2016 US presidential election; my very first one! Also notable are the British elections coming up in May 2015, as well as French elections in 2017. I can’t say I know of any others, but please do mention them if they’re coming up.

What effect will these elections (and others, if they’re coming up) have on the LGBTQIA populations of their respective countries? Are marriage rights in the US on too much of a roll to be stopped by any president now? If yes, then what will the future look like for other rights that have still been left up in the air? If you’re not American, how does it look from where you are?

Posted in Question of the Week, Uncategorized | 9 Comments

Ambiguous and heading nowhere

“Gray-A” was coined to describe the fuzzy space between asexual and non-asexual.  Or as I’ve put it, it describes people who find asexuality to be useful to understand their personal experiences, but who don’t fit the technical definition.

“Demisexual”, by contrast, refers to a more specific experience.  Demisexuals only experience sexual attraction to people that they have strong emotional bonds with.

Demisexuals are less numerous than gray-As.  In a recent survey, demisexuals make up 15% of the community, while gray-As make up 20%.  Not to mention that demisexuality is often thought of as a subcategory of gray-A, implying that gray-As are really more like 35%.  And yet it seems to me that demisexuals command greater amount of attention. Continue reading

Posted in Articles, Community, Demisexual, Gray-A | 24 Comments

Linkspam: March 20th, 2015

Every Friday, we will share links to news, blogs, and anything else we find interesting.  We can’t catch everything, so you are invited to self-promote in the comments!

Tristifere started a new blog about asexual history, and asexual perspectives on history.  Her first post, discussing what asexual history is and isn’t, is up.

killerbee13 is looking for grey-A/demi people who share xyr experiences.

There’s been a fair amount of discussion on Coy’s blog about discussion bubbles in the ace community.

redbeardace wants to know things that make women doubt they’re asexual.

The Globe and Mail ran a piece on asexuality.

An academic article on Sexual Configurations Theory was published.

Jo wrote a guide on how to be an ally to asexual people.

Cinderace wrote about romantic desire.

Remember that Jezebel article on asexuality that many people were complaining about?  Jezebel posted a followup interview setting the record straight.

chekhovandowl is looking for aromantic perspectives.

Posted in Linkspam | 5 Comments

An Aromantic’s Lament

Last November, I wrote about how I don’t understand romantic attraction and how a lot of online aromantic discourse doesn’t make sense to me because of that. As rotten-zucchinis perceptively noted (footnote 3), it’s not so much that I’m failing at discourse as that discourse is failing me.

I’ve always identified as aromantic because I don’t experience crushes. I’m 41 years old and have never had a single crush in my life. There is a cultural narrative around crushes, falling in love, limerence, and my experiences profoundly separate me from that narrative. It’s this sense of difference from the norm that I define as my aromanticism. It therefore follows that alloromantic people would be those who do experience crushes, falling in love, and/or limerence and therefore that romantic attraction must have something to do with the capacity to fall in love, get a crush, or experience limerence. Continue reading

Posted in aromanticism, Articles, Misconceptions, romantic orientation | 30 Comments