Linkspam: May 6th, 2016

Every Friday, we will share links to news, blogs, and anything else we find interesting.  We can’t catch everything, so you are invited to self-promote in the comments!

Ace Blogging

aceadmiral wrote about assisted reproduction.

Sara wrote about her difficulty understanding non-asexual experiences.

Ace Community Activity

The newest issue of AVENues is out.  The next issue of AVENues will be on the topic of gender orientations and is accepting submissions now.

chrysocollatown collaborated with other Chilean aces to create an introduction to asexuality in Spanish.

Coyote put together a list of basic resources for ace advice blogs.

News & Outreach

There’s a Spanish mattress ad that focuses on asexual people.

Yahoo Lifestyle ran an article about dating as an asexual.

BBC ran an article about asexual spectrum people in relationships.

Posted in Linkspam | 2 Comments

Carnival of Aces: Be yourself (but stretch)

The Carnival of Aces for April has just been posted on A3.  The theme was “Be yourself (but stretch)“.  Please take a look!

The next Carnival of Aces is being hosted by halfthoughts.  The theme for May is “Questioning your Faith”.  Get your submissions in before the end of the month!

Posted in Carnival of Aces, Linkspam | Leave a comment

Not queer enough, not Muslim enough

Recently, I wrote about burnout, from writing in general and from writing about asexuality for Muslims in particular. In that post, I talked about the lack of any real asexual Muslim community or even an active group of bloggers other than myself and a handful of others like elainexe.

My post sparked some interesting discussions on Tumblr among other Muslim aces. One of the themes which came up was feeling like there’s no space we really fit in with.

In particular, we may feel “too queer” for Muslim spaces, and often “too Muslim” for asexual or LGBTQ spaces. We’re caught between worlds.

It’s actually even more complicated than that for me. In reality, I’m simultaneously both too queer and not queer enough, and too Muslim and not Muslim enough.

Or maybe I should say I’m not the “right kind” of queer, as an aromantic asexual. And not the “right kind” of Muslim as a convert. Continue reading

Posted in Articles, Community, Intersectionality, LGBT, personal experience | Tagged | 5 Comments

Question of the Week: May 3rd, 2016

Tell us your experiences with tee-totaling!

Do you surround yourself with other people who don’t drink, or are you often the odd one out in your group?  Is it a hard and fast rule for you, or not?  If you have any particular motivations, what are they?

This question of the week is inspired by “Asexuality as a Spectrum: A National Probability Sample Comparison to the Sexual Community in the UK“, a Master’s thesis by Caroline McClave.  As described in the abstract, asexuals and gray sexuals are far more likely to be non-drinkers.

I drink, so this question isn’t for me.

Posted in Question of the Week | 23 Comments

Linkspam: April 29th, 2016

Every Friday, we will share links to news, blogs, and anything else we find interesting.  We can’t catch everything, so you are invited to self-promote in the comments!

Ace Blogging

ace-muslim analyzed the Muslim respondents to the 2014 asexual community census and also looked at experiences and attitudes of Muslim ace respondents.

Less Than Three Press has some books about asexual charactersAgentaletha has been reviewing some of them.

Arf says the closet does not exist.

starchythoughts created a zine about asexuality and animal rights.

swankivy offered some advice for non-asexual people who want to write asexual characters.

News & Outreach

The NWSA 2016 Asexuality Interest Group-sponsored panels have been released.

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Question of the Week: April 26th, 2016.

What relationship style best suits you? Are you monogamous, polyamorous, want or in a qpr, open, closed, somewhere in between, or none at all? 

Posted in Question of the Week, Uncategorized | 11 Comments

Celibacy, and its use by asexuals

This post is being cross-posted to my personal blog, A Trivial Knot, and is written for a general audience.

“Asexuality is not the same as celibacy” is a common line in introductory explanations of asexuality, but as I discussed in an earlier post, mocking celibacy can still be asexual-unfriendly. Here I will go further in depth.

The distinction between asexuality and celibacy plays the same role that “born this way” plays for LGBT people. The purpose of each talking point is to establish that LGBT/asexual people did not choose their orientations. The slogans can be useful, particularly in hostile environments. However, if people become more accepting, if people realize it does not matter if it is chosen, perhaps we can move beyond slogans.

Aside from the politics, there is also a question to what extent it is really true that LGBT people are always “born this way”. If you look, you will find people who subjectively experienced a choice, people who emphasize that their identity or behavior are chosen, and people who would like an honest look at the empirical evidence.

Similar questions may be raised about asexuality and the extent to which choice plays a role in it. While asexuality and celibacy certainly have distinct meanings, we want to know exactly how far that distinction goes. For example, some people take that to mean that asexuals and celibates are non-overlapping groups. But is that really true?
Continue reading

Posted in Articles, Language | 13 Comments