Question of the Week: April 27th, 2015

What do you do when you procrastinate?

I’m very much driven by the internet update cycle, checking my e-mail, my reader, and Facebook, cycle, and repeat.  Lately I’ve also been wasting time browsing new webcomics.  Most are pretty terrible, but every so often I find something great.  It’s random reinforcement!  Although even the good webcomics I often lose interest because they don’t update swiftly enough.

What’s this work I’m procrastinating you ask?  I dunno, I got caught up talking about comics.

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Linkspam: April 24th, 2015

Every Friday, we will share links to news, blogs, and anything else we find interesting.  We can’t catch everything, so you are invited to self-promote in the comments!

polynotes is looking for ace perspectives on polyamory.

writer-ace wants a word for not having sex that isn’t “abstention” or “celibacy.”

rotten-zucchinis posted some ramblings on romantic attraction.

chekhovandowl is running a survey on aro spectrum identities.

The Patheos Catholic channel had an interview with an asexual person.

The Anonymous Asexual wrote a personal story about abuse and self-harm.

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On friendships, part 1: feeling I am not entitled to friendship, and I am a burden

[tw: allusions to sexual violence, domestic violence, religious abuse; descriptions of bullying and abusive friends, invalidation of asexuality. Heavy warning for abandonment trauma.]

On some level, I know other people don’t feel that way about me. Continue reading

Posted in Articles, Intersectionality, personal experience, Relationships | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments

Linkspam: April 17th, 2015

Every Friday, we will share links to news, blogs, and anything else we find interesting.  We can’t catch everything, so you are invited to self-promote in the comments!

Minding Therapy posted an article on the validity of asexuality.

crosstheacebot wrote about aromanticism and the robot myth.

The expanded Resources for Ace Survivors site launched.

Slate ran an article about asexual representation in Sirens.

Aqua wrote about the difficulty in picking a single term to refer to people who reject sex.

The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast featured an asexual guest.

A survey on asexuality in Asian American communities is looking for participants.

Demisexuality Resource Center launched its forum.

Sara wrote about a possibly demisexual character in a popular Chinese novel and how sexuality is discussed in Chinese culture.

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Question of the Week: April 14th, 2015

What are your feelings on man/woman words? Do you use them to describe yourself? When did you start? (How) does that interact with your sexuality (or lack thereof)?

Today’s question was submitted by GreyWander, of The Trail We Blaze.  GW offers the following comments:

Something that’s long fascinated me is when people I know stop calling themselves ‘boys’ and ‘girls’ and start referring to themselves as ‘men’ and ‘women’. Lately I’ve been wondering a lot about how that shift interacts with asexuality.

For myself, I feel really uncomfortable with the word ‘woman’ being applied to me. I’m not completely sure why this is, but the wrongness isn’t gender-based. I’d say it’s more age-based (I am but a college junior – I don’t even have to feed myself), but I can’t really see it changing, even as I go into the world and function as an adult. I don’t ever see myself fitting the archetype of ‘woman’ as it exists in my head, and I think that’s at least in part because on some level I connect being a ‘woman’ with being sexual.

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Ace label culture

When people talk about Tumblr Social Justice Warriors (SJWs), a significant fraction of what they’re talking about is the ace community. You may not think of yourself as an SJW, but you are, whether you are or not.

It doesn’t make a difference that I’m a vocal critic of Tumblr, or that I joke about destroying it. When I modded a panel on FTB, we were called “The nightmarish collision of FTB and tumblr” merely because we talked about asexuality. And my first reaction was, “Damn right, you better be scared!”

Here I focus on one aspect of the SJW stereotype which is clearly traceable to the tumblr ace community: labels, labels, endless labels. Continue reading

Posted in Articles, asexual identity, Language, Modeling | 22 Comments

Linkspam: April 10th, 2015

Every Friday, we will share links to news, blogs, and anything else we find interesting.  We can’t catch everything, so you are invited to self-promote in the comments!

queerascat posted some thoughts on romantic orientation.

Asexy April is running again this year.

redbeardace is looking for tips on how parents’ should react to their child coming out as ace.

Aces Wild put up a video of David Jay explaining how he thinks of relationship status (warning: autoplay).

Everyday Feminism ran an article by Swankivy about being an aromantic asexual.

George Norman, the UK’s first openly asexual candidate, wrote a brief article on being asexual in politics.

Gay Star News posted an article about asexuality.

Sara’s running a series on compulsory sexuality.  You can find the first post here.

onlyfragments wrote about asexual/allosexual relationships and sex.

Laura has a new post up on Love, InshAllah about other people’s expectations.

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