On Fridays, we will share links to news, blogs, and anything else we find interesting. We can’t catch everything, so you are invited to self-promote in the comments!
Coyote argues that visibility is a trap. Coyote also provided some diagrams to help think about it.
Asexuality Archive looked into laws protecting sexual/romantic orientation in the US.
“No romo” is an aromantic meme, a play on an older expression, “no homo”. “No romo” is often used as a jokey hashtag, or an art motif, and usually there’s not enough context to give it further meaning. It’s mostly just a snappy way to say “no romance”.
I’ve also heard people complain about the meme. To alloromantic aces, as well as aro-spec people who aren’t aromantic, sometimes it can seem like something more sinister, an expression of aromantic elitism.
I’m here to sweep away all that, and say you’re all missing the elephant in the room. The “no romo” meme is just a speck of dust in a much larger meme pool.
How do you feel about participating in studies on asexuality?
Some other related questions you can answer: do you participate whenever you see a study? Are you concerned about who the author is? Do you feel differently about studies made by academics versus informal studies done by members of the ace community? What would you change about the studies on asexuality you participated in? Or what would make you want to participate?
In Coyote’s timeline of “quoiromantic”, there’s a certain conflict that persisted for many years. Cor, who coined “quoiromantic”, has repeatedly asserted a broad meaning, as in “What even is romantic orientation?” Nonetheless, there has been a persistent misconception that it has a narrower meaning, as in “can’t tell the difference between platonic and romantic attraction”.
This is a historical pattern that repeats again and again. A term is intended as a broad umbrella to describe a large number of experiences, but the term acquires more narrow connotations. You can find examples in Coyote’s timelines of “queerplatonic” and related concepts. It happens to “gray-asexual”. It happens to “queer”. It even happens to sandwiches.
Note: Coyote has discussed the same historical pattern, with extensive links to examples. But my article was already written before Coyote’s was published, and I left it unchanged to show how we’re independently coming to similar conclusions.
I’ll discuss “quoiromantic”, “queer”, and sandwiches–but not in that order–and then at the bottom I’ll try to establish some rules for how to deal with it.
This is a guestpost by demiandproud.
Hi, I’m a demisexual Dutchwoman who’s identified as such since her mid-twenties. I toyed with adopting a romantic orientation label for a long time while figuring out how attraction works for me.
In the wake of February’s Carnival of Aces, romance and romantic orientation cropped up in a few conversations I had with friends. They asked me a question I could not answer: “What’s romantic mean, to you?” They understood I used it differently. And, yeah, it has developed a new meaning and use in the ace and aro communities. One, I discovered, I couldn’t put it into words very well.
I’ve seen some bloggers quip “you must know it when you feel it.” I think that’s exactly right. We – I should say I – have been intuiting what the word means while using it. Doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try to define it. Enough such attempts taken together would make it possible to come to a more complete understanding of the new use of ‘romantic’. Especially as a foil to aromantic.
While I’ve been writing this, it seems this discussion’s already well underway. Nevertheless, I hope this provides some food for thought.
Every Friday, we will share links to news, blogs, and anything else we find interesting. We can’t catch everything, so you are invited to self-promote in the comments!
killerbee13 is confused by attraction.
Coyote discussed the historical pattern of umbrella crunching and the reinvention treadmill.
Jude Tresswell has a new short story and novel, and talks about them here.
Carnival of Aros
The Carnival of Aros was posted by grzanka, on the theme of “It’s Great to be Aro“.
The next call for submissions is at Aromantic Ruminations, on the theme of “Coming out and / or being out as aromantic spectrum“.
Ace Community Activity
The “Unthinking Sex, Imagining Asexuality” conference is being held at Vancouver from April 26-27. If you register now, ace/aro community members are being given priority.
The Carnival of Aces on “Symbols of Identity” was posted.
Calls for Participants/Submissions
The Asexual is seeking submissions on an issue themed on discovering identity.
The Asexual Agenda is still looking for participants! Please apply ASAP!
The Carnival of Aces for March has been posted on Controlled Abandon. The theme was “Symbols of Identity“. Please take a look!
The next Carnival of Aces is being hosted by luvtheheaven. The theme for April is “The Five Love Languages”. Get your submissions in before the end of the month!
The Carnival of Aces is hosted by volunteers, and slots are open starting next month. If you would like to volunteer, please see the masterpost for instructions.
If you are wondering about the Carnival of Aros, the roundup hasn’t been posted just yet. My plan from this point forward is to plug it in the linkspam, rather than lumping it in with the Carnival of Aces announcement.