Question of the Month: March 17th, 2020.

If you have one or are seeking one, what qualities do you look for in a significant other(s)?

I look for someone who is good at communicating their feelings, especially negative feelings. I really like knowing what’s going on and being able to work with someone in difficult times instead of both of us escalating conflict unnecessarily. After that I also look for someone who is accepting of me and my limits (which includes how I specifically experience asexuality, but also many qualities) and has a generally compatible lifestyle with me 🙂 I love living in a child-free home in the suburbs with lots of animal companions and plants.

 

IRL Ace Meetups… Online

My whole area just ordered everyone to shelter in place, to slow the spread of COVID-19.  No matter where you live, you could find yourself in a similar situation soon, if you’re not there already.

Naturally, IRL ace meetups will be cancelled… or will they?  Many IRL groups are going to try having their meetups online.  So I’d like to put the word out, especially for those who have been too nervous to venture into an IRL meetup, or who live too far away.  Now is a great time to try.  And certainly these days, a lot of us could use the social interaction.

Linkspam: March 13th, 2020

On Fridays, we will share links to news, blogs, and anything else we find interesting.  We can’t catch everything, so you are invited to self-promote in the comments!

Ace Blogging

Coyote asked when it’s appropriate for ace groups to include non-aces.

“It’s Not You, It’s Not Me.” is a short film about a mixed couple (cn: sexually explicit, sexual coercion).  Sherronda Brown wrote about how disappointed she was by the film.

Aro blogging

The Arocalypse forum is shutting down, in absence of further support.  Mary made a case for helping.

Carnival of Aces: Identity

The Carnival of Aces for February has been posted on Live to Learn.  The theme was “Identity”.  Please take a look!

The next Carnival of Aces is being hosted by Coyote.  The theme for March is “Leaving”.  Get your submissions in before the end of the month!

The Carnival of Aces is hosted by volunteers each month.  If you would like to volunteer, please see the masterpost for instructions.  Right now, we don’t have any volunteers for next month!

Linkspam: March 6th, 2020

On Fridays, we will share links to news, blogs, and anything else we find interesting.  We can’t catch everything, so you are invited to self-promote in the comments!

Ace Blogging

Coyote wrote about 4 ways the inclusion/exclusion axis is failing us, and asked what an anti-ace problem in the aro community would look like.

Aro blogging

AUREA has a recap of Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week.

The Carnival of Aros for February, on the theme of “Variation and Unity” has been posted.  The next call for submissions is on the theme of “Aromanticism and Gender”

Calls for Participants/Support

The Carnival of Aces for March is looking for submissions on the theme of “Leaving”.  I’m currently working on getting the roundup for the previous month, will post then.

Linkspam: February 21st, 2020

Today we have several links related to Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week.  We can’t catch everything, so you are invited to self-promote in the comments!

AUREA interviewed a series of activists and creators, including Constance Bougie, Courtney Lang, Isaac, and Alex.

Aro Worlds collected links to free fiction, fan fiction, creative nonfiction, comics, and poetry about allo-aro experiences.

Coyote summarized perspectives on romance in academic queer theory.

Although ASAW is almost over, there are still a couple local events in Berkeley and Washington DC tomorrow.

There’s a new aromantic Nordic group.

How not to talk about aromanticism

It’s Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week! It’s a week to send all your positivity and affirmation towards aromantic spectrum people. But I’m not much for positivity, so instead I’m going to take a critical look at an article I saw last week, one that is quite frustrating from an aro perspective.

The article is “What it’s like identifying as asexual on Valentine’s Day”, by Aditya Mirchandani, in Vice India.¹ The author interviewed four asexual people in different parts of Asia, asking how they felt about Valentine’s Day. Normally, this would be a great premise for an article, but it’s frustrating because the interviewees² apparently don’t know how to talk about aromanticism.

So let’s use this article as a case study, to outline several things to avoid.