Question of the Week November 13th, 2018.

Is there anything you want to ask other ace folks?

I’ll admit this was originally on my list as a way to get more ideas for questions, but I’m also genuinely curious as to what you’d like to know from other asexual people.

I’m always really curious about what kinds of attraction if any they do experience, and how they came to realise they were ace.

Is there anything you wish you could ask other ace folk, or that you do ask?


Posted in Question of the Week, Uncategorized | 4 Comments

A brief history of A Carnival of Aces

This month, the theme of the Carnival of Aces is the carnival itself. As someone who has been around since the Carnival started, and who has managed it for most of its lifetime, I’d like to explain its history. It’s nothing too deep, just a bit of trivia.

Asexual blogs have been around for a while, dating at least as far back as David Jay’s blog, which launched in 2006. But I would say that the big growth in activity happened around 2010-2011, when Sciatrix’s blog Writing from Factor X was active. That blog was a sort of spiritual predecessor to The Asexual Agenda, hosting regular linkspams and wanting to discuss asexuality on a higher level.

In March 2011, in a comment on Writing from Factor X, I proposed the idea of a blogging carnival. Many other commenters liked the idea, and so Sciatrix started the carnival. In 2012, when I launched The Asexual Agenda, Sciatrix was one of the cofounders.  Sciatrix thought it would be best for The Asexual Agenda to host the carnival from that point on, so we did.

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Linkspam: November 11th, 2018

Every Friday, we will share links to news, blogs, and anything else we find interesting.  We can’t catch everything, so you are invited to self-promote in the comments!

Ace Blogging

Vesper had a video interview with two activists in Japan: the YouTuber Nakaken of Seisei Doudou, and asexuality researcher Dai-chan of Sukotan Social Services.

Sara K. reviews Let’s Talk About Love, a novel with an ace protagonist.

News & Outreach

Happy Ending Productions has been releasing teaser videos for their upcoming documentary, Ace of Baes, featuring interviews with many different ace people.

Calls for Participants/Submissions

The Ace Community Survey Team is looking for volunteers.

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Question of the Week: November 6th, 2018.

How do you feel about your physical appearance? 

Maybe six or seven years ago in a gender studies class of all women and afab nonbinary students the professor asked if any of us were actually happy with our appearance. She lamented the pressure media put on women to look a certain way and was sad that none of us may be actually happy with ourselves. I remember raising my hand and saying I don’t really feel social pressure to look a certain way or that my body needs to conform. Maybe it’s because I’m asexual but I’m not too concerned with looking sexy or with my body being hot. She thought about it for a minute and then shook her head. She didn’t think asexuality would have let me escape patriarchal gender oppression that would make me feel terrible about myself. I remember another student in the class said she felt really confident about her physical appearance because as she got older she looked more and more like her mother and she loved her mother. Everyone ‘awwhed’ at that answer and the professor smiled and accepted it.

Looking back on the experience I remember I was also in a long term relationship at the time and very sex-repulsed. Asexuality was an important part of why I wasn’t too concerned what other people thought of my body but it wasn’t the only thing. My repulsion is still present but has gone down a lot and I’ve noticed these days I care a little bit if other people find me attractive. Has anyone else noticed that they are less concerned about their appearance than allosexual people? Or do you have a very different experience than mine?

Posted in Question of the Week | 8 Comments

Carnival of Aces: Asexuality and Poetry

The Carnival of Aces for October has been posted on Sketches.  The theme was “Asexuality and Poetry“.  Please take a look!

The next Carnival of Aces is being hosted by The Notes Which Do Not Fit.  The theme for November is “Carnival of Aces”.  Yes, this month’s theme is the carnival itself.  Get your submissions in before the end of the month!

Note that the Carnival of Aces is hosted by volunteers.  If you would like to volunteer, please see the masterpost for instructions.

Posted in Carnival of Aces, Linkspam | Leave a comment

A Spooky Reflection on Amatonormativity

With Halloween approaching, I find myself reflecting not just on the traditional horrors of the season but also that of amatonormativity.

As a teenager, my best friend and I loved watching horror movies and, perhaps even more, we loved writing horror movie spoofs. We would spend hours in front of a computer, bouncing ideas off each other and typing dialogue. We ended up writing an entire trilogy starring ourselves as we wished we could be—brave, witty, and popular.

Obviously, part of this wish fulfillment had to include a love interest. How could someone create an idealized version of themselves without a romantic partner?

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Posted in aromanticism, Articles, personal experience, Sexual normativity | 1 Comment

Linkspam: October 26th, 2018

Every Friday, we will share links to news, blogs, and anything else we find interesting.  We can’t catch everything, so you are invited to self-promote in the comments!

Ace Blogging

jotdancing writes about the split attraction model, respectability politics, and confusion of aroaceness.

Brie Rhoden asks why asexual characters on TV are always white.

Flyingpaperbacks has some recommended reading for Asexual Awareness Week.

Ace Community Activity

Asexuality Archive has a (silent) video, Things You Should Know About Asexuality.

Asexual Outreach launched the website Aces & Aros, which aggregates news, helps people connect with local groups, and hosts many resources.

News & Outreach

The video series “Unfiltered” by The Lily and The Washington Post included an interview with ace youtuber Ahsante Bean.

Anna Goshua writes about how asexual people deserve better from our medical providers.

Anna Goshua also calls on society to start treating asexual and aromantic people like adults.

Calls for Participants/Submissions

acespotting had an audience participation week, asking people to take ace photos.

The 2018 Asexual Community Survey is now open for responses.


Posted in Linkspam | 2 Comments