Question of the Week: July 27th, 2016

Do you keep in touch with old friends?

It happens in everybody’s life, when they graduate, move, or find a new job, and they leave friends behind.  Or perhaps, it’s the friends who leave you behind.

I rarely make any special effort to keep in touch with old friends, as I tend to think that new friends are just as good and easier to find.  Nonetheless, I sometimes meet up with old friends.  There was a group from undergrad who would hold board game nights for several years after we graduated.  There’s another group graduated from my current university doing the same thing.  There was the childhood friend who I met with several times after he ran into my mother.  I also enjoy chance run-ins.

Sometimes, awkwardly, some old friends put a lot more effort into it than I do.  I’m never really sure what to say about that.  I’ll meet people part way but I’m not going to force it.

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Linkspam: July 22nd, 2016

Every Friday, we will share links to news, blogs, and anything else we find interesting.  We can’t catch everything, so you are invited to self-promote in the comments!

Ace Blogging

Coyote observes the use of discrete divisions whenever gatekeeping comes up.

Posted in Linkspam | 12 Comments

Question of the Week: July 19th, 2016.

What do you do to relax?

I recently found myself on an unexpected vacation and since it’s Summer, maybe it’s the same for some of you. I asked my supervisor what I should be doing and she said nothing. Go relax. That would probably be welcome news to many people, but I’m the sort of person that has to work at relaxing. Some of the things I’ve been working on include secular and Western Buddhist meditation, yoga, building plant terrariums, and getting myself inspired to write fiction again by scouring the internet for lgbtq+ fantasy. Building plant terrariums has become my interesting new hobby. I initially expected they’d just look pretty, but I’m learning a lot about tapping into my artistic side again, playing, and accepting that things may not turn out how I want them to (and that’s okay). Scouring greenhouses for plants that go together and designing miniature landscaping (with miniature tables and miniature dishes!) is surprisingly engaging and relaxing.

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Autochorissexualism and Sex-Favorable Asexuality

I have a lot of feelings about the word autochorissexualism. Coined by academic Anthony F. Bogaert in 2012 to refer to a “paraphilia that is consistent with a lack of subjective sexual attraction for others and involves a ‘disconnect’ between an individual’s sense of self and a sexual object/target,” autochorissexualism has been a topic of discussion in the ace community ever since. Some aces identify with autochorissexualism, while others say it’s not an orientation or identity. In this post I’m going to delve into what autochorissexual could be and its potential connections to sex-favourable asexuality.

In future posts on autochorissexualism I plan to discuss the following problems: one, that autochorissexualism is considered a “paraphilia” and what that means, two, the questionable ethics behind Bogaert’s study and his model of attraction, and three, that Bogaert’s “proof” for autochorissexualism is based on a faulty premise. According to Bogaert, the sole fact that asexual people masturbate is evidence of autochorissexualism and/or another paraphilia! I’m looking forward to my full critique on that, including a list of many many reasons why asexual people might masturbate (inspired by Siggy’s “20 narratives of aces who like sex“); you’re welcome to anticipate that post and start writing reasons in the comments below.

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Posted in Articles, asexual politics, Language, personal experience, Research, Sexual normativity | Tagged , , | 18 Comments

Linkspam: July 15th, 2016

Every Friday, we will share links to news, blogs, and anything else we find interesting.  We can’t catch everything, so you are invited to self-promote in the comments!

Ace Blogging

Ozy talks about compulsory sexuality in altsex communities.

Coyote wrote about preemptive vs. concurrent + reflective consent, and discussed further responses.

Ace Community Activity

Creative Ace Publishing is expanding.

News & Outreach

There’s a new academic paper on psychological features and sexual beliefs characterizing self-labeled asexuals.

Posted in Linkspam | 9 Comments

Question of the Week: July 12th, 2016

Where do you see your future, career-wise?

Many readers are in school and still have no idea–very understandable.  Other people might prefer not to say.  But even if you can’t be specific, I’d like to hear what kinds of things you’d like in a career.  Lots of human interaction, or little?  Independence, or direction?  And do you like to travel?

I am nearing graduation, so I’ve been thinking a lot about possible careers.  One thing that is important to me is a work-life balance.  I don’t understand this society I live in where people who make more than enough money to live on spend so much time at work that they can’t do anything else.  What I’m getting at is that I’m not going to pursue a professorship.  Data science seems particularly appealing at the moment.

Posted in Question of the Week | 11 Comments

Linkspam: July 8th, 2016

Every Friday, we will share links to news, blogs, and anything else we find interesting.  We can’t catch everything, so you are invited to self-promote in the comments!

Ace Blogging

Elizabeth reminds people not to link to ace survivors and mentally ill aces during arguments.

Sara concluded her series on non-mono folk by writing about asexuality and polyamory.

Ace Community Activity

Resources for Ace Survivors has released a Spanish version of their info sheet for health professionals.

Chrysocolla Town created a new page for Spanish-language resources about asexuality for health professionals, and posted about what Chilean health professionals have said about asexuality (in Spanish).

News & Outreach

David Jay shared 5 romance tips with Good Magazine.

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