« Imagine that you wake up one day in a world in which all sexuality has disappeared. A completely asexual world. In this world, hardly anyone feels sexual attraction and nobody speaks about sexuality. No words exist to describe sexual experiences and no ideas are available to understand them. Imagine further that in this world being asexual is the normal and privileged way of being, no proper person would think about sexuality. It is known that some people are sexual but this is not deemed an interesting subject. In the few instances where it’s spoken about, sexuality is always shown as symptomatic of some incapacity, trouble or condition. In this world, you can’t find a word to speak about sexual practices and relationships. Asexual relationships, on the contrary, are valued above everything else. There are the most important relationships in one’s life and the main task for an adult is to seek and find an asexual partner.
Imagine now that you wake up in this world only to realize that you are not asexual. And not only are you not asexual but you’re also strongly attracted toward sexuality. Of course, you’re not able to figure out what you feel but you know all the same that there’s something wrong with it. There’s no one around you to help you out and when you eventually find informations regarding sexuality, it’s always portrayed as shameful or as something requiring medical attention. You would like to form an intimate relationship but when you’re with someone your sexuality quickly becomes an issue. You’ve tried to discuss your feelings and needs with your partners but you’ve only encountered a lack of understanding. Some have blamed you for your situation and some have even pretended to cure you. You eventually understand that your sexuality drive people away and, not knowing what to do, you finally resign to loneliness. »
Fortunately, for most readers, such a world is nothing but a fiction. The world you live in allows you to understand yourself and to be understood by others. But I would like to ask you this : thrown in such a world, what would you do ? Would you like to be able to speak about your experiences and to understand them ? Would you like the words « homosexual », « bisexual » and « heterosexual » (among others) to be available to you ? Would you like your feeling and needs to be marginalized and ridiculed or recognized as a legitimate alternative ? Would you like to be able to meet people that understand you and with which you’d be able to form sexual or asexual relationships ?
If your answer is « yes » to any of these questions, I believe that you now have a better grasp of our experiences and expectations. I believe you’re in a better position to understand our attempts to make this isolation, this difficulty to inhabit a world that erases us, nothing but a bad dream. In the end, we want the same thing as you, we want such a story to be nothing but a fiction that one can read absent-mindedly and instantly forget.
To know more about asexuality, click here.