Question of the Week: April 22nd, 2014

If you’ve outed yourself as asexual, what’s your favorite reaction that you’ve gotten? If you haven’t outed yourself before, what reactions would you like to get?

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Linkspam: April 18th, 2014

Every Friday, we will share links to news, blogs, and anything else we find interesting.  We can’t catch everything, so you are invited to self-promote in the comments!

Swankivy posted a video of the talk she gave at the University of Virginia on asexual relationships.

An Italian photojournalist is looking for aces in London to interview.

A new academic paper looks at the asexual community’s use of Tumblr, and compares to AVEN.  So far, some people are unimpressed.

anagnori wrote about the limitations of romantic orientation.

There’s a new ace meetup in Los Angeles.

Peace has a good summary of the conversation on asexuality and race so far.  Here’s additional commentary from nextstepcake and theacemachine.

aphoenixwriting is looking for feedback on two snippets from a YA novel with an asexual character.

Posted in Linkspam | 2 Comments

Why I don’t talk about race anymore

Peace wrote a pretty good summary of asexual people of color (POC) issues, and I’m not just saying that because I was cited a few times.

This is entirely tangential, but I was reflecting on how I became a voice for asexual POC, and how unworthy I feel to be such a voice.  I don’t talk about asexuality and race anymore, for the same reasons I don’t talk about my experience with sexual assault.  There just isn’t a whole lot to tell.  I was not traumatized by my assault, and I did not encounter difficulties due to being asexual and Asian American.  But I know that other people do have such problems, so I end up mostly talking about other people’s experiences.  And that’s really not ideal.

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Posted in Intersectionality | Tagged | 12 Comments

Question of the Week: April 15th, 2014

What’s your favorite children’s book of all time?

Posted in Question of the Week | 6 Comments

(Un)detachable Sexualities: A Hypothesis

In Queenie’s last post on why asexual people aren’t just like everyone else, minus the sexual attraction, one of the points she made was that it suggests that our sexualities are detachable parts of our identities. Queenie writes:

I cannot imagine a world in which I am not asexual.  If I were not ace, my interactions, perceptions, experiences, and sense of self would be so radically different that I simply cannot imagine a world in which I am not ace and yet am still me.

This really resonated with me as well – so much that I had to force myself away from the comments to come and write my own post dedicated to this topic. Because I feel the same way as Queenie does: my asexuality is an inherent part of my identity, something that can’t just be detached. If I can furnish you with an analogy, asexuality is like a cog in a machine: everything turns with it, and although there are also many other cogs, they all depend on each other to keep turning. The asexuality cog can’t turn on its own, and without it, nothing else turns either.

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Posted in asexual identity, Modeling, Sexual normativity | 10 Comments

Linkspam: April 11th, 2014

Every Friday, we will share links to news, blogs, and anything else we find interesting.  We can’t catch everything, so you are invited to self-promote in the comments!

Have you ever had a queerplatonic or non-normative relationship, and it went wrong?  The Rotten Zucchinis zine wants your stories, and the deadline is Tuesday, April 15th!

AVEN CAKE is going on in NYC this weekend.

Entertaining Thoughts wrote about cuddle orientation.

Asexuality Studies put together an FAQ for people looking for academic studies on asexuality.

Critique of Popular Reason wrote about a question begged, in asexual and demisexual vis-ed.

A character in Sirens has been confirmed to be asexual.  Here’s Siggy’s write-up and a longer conversation about it on tumblr.

anagnori wrote about grieving, anger, and oppression.

Check out the Asexuals Project, a multimedia web-doc portraying many asexuals.

Here’s a LJ discussion about words for nonsexual romantic relationships.

nextstepcake writes about identity before asexuality.

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Become a contributor to The Asexual Agenda!

The Asexual Agenda is a blog written by ace-spectrum people, for ace-spectrum people, covering topics at a higher level than what you find in the mainstream news. We talk about experiences, identity politics, intersectionality, academic research, asexual activism, and anything else you like.

Several of our bloggers are stepping down: Calinlapin, Cleander, and Aydan.  We thank them for their contributions, and wish them the best.  We are now looking for new contributors.


If you become a contributor, I expect you to correspond with us by e-mail, and I expect you to write on occasion.  You decide what to write about on your own.

How to apply:

To apply, please e-mail us at by April 23rd.  Briefly (in ~100 words) tell us about yourself, and why you’d like to contribute.  Also include a writing sample (300-1000 words), something that would be suitable to publish on The Asexual Agenda.

The application process is not intended to be difficult.  The primary purpose is to demonstrate that you can correspond by e-mail, and that you know what sort of thing is appropriate to this blog.

Guest posts:

If you can’t contribute regularly, we are always open for guest posts.  Please e-mail us at

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